IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Doing research and
data
Use synonyms
 gathering are aggressively increasing these days. It is often argued that newly gathered
data
Use synonyms
 should be shared with others as much as possible, while many people think that
information
Use synonyms
 is too valuable and should not be shared freely. I agree with the latter opinion due to some reasons that will be discussed below. On one hand, some people believe that all acquired
information
Use synonyms
 must be shared for some reason.
Firstly
Linking Words
, sharing the
last
Linking Words
 research results would make faster improvement in the following exploration and
this
Linking Words
 can make difference in people’s lives, especially when they were in science and business. These developments would make better conditions,
for example
Linking Words
, in employment or health.
Secondly
Linking Words
, poor societies' access to new knowledge is very hard and it would be not possible if the
data
Use synonyms
 maintain private.
Hence
Linking Words
, free
information
Use synonyms
 could make them more motivated and aware.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
data
Use synonyms
 gathering and conducting exploration are very expensive these days,
in particular
Linking Words
, in science and business. Collecting
information
Use synonyms
 needs a huge number of experiments and surveys, in some cases, and releasing their results without earning money is unacceptable.
For instance
Linking Words
, medical
data
Use synonyms
 for producing the covid-19 vaccine was acquired relying on more than 100 persons’ investigation, and they would not release that
information
Use synonyms
 freely.
Also
Linking Words
, free shared
data
Use synonyms
 will become undervalued when the
data
Use synonyms
 is much more. In terms of poor people, it should be possible for them to access valuable
data
Use synonyms
 in a controlled financial aids system. In conclusion, whereas some
data
Use synonyms
 must be shared freely, the most important
data
Use synonyms
, which consumes money to reach, could be shared with special customers with earning money.
Submitted by asghar.khorram on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: