IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Last Tuesday you flew from New York to Paris. When you arrived home, you discovered that you had left your cabin bag on the plane. Write a letter to the airline. In your letter, you should explain: •where and when you lost your bag •what your bag looks like •what its contents were Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir / Madam You should write at least 150 words. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

#tuesday #york #paris #home #cabin #bag #plane #airline #•where #•what #contents #sir #madam #minutes
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Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 to bring to your notice a cabin baggage of mine which I had forgotten during my flight. I had dozed off during the flight and woke up suddenly when the plane had landed. I exited the plane in a rush as I was already bound by a tight schedule and had to be somewhere an hour after my landing. Even though I am usually careful about my things, it slipped my mind since I was in a hurry. I believe I left my cabin bag on the plane itself; which was the A30122, flying from New York to Paris with an arrival time of 3PM
last
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 Tuesday. It is a dark brown office bag made from leather and has a sling attached to it. So that it helps you to narrow down the search regarding the brand, it is from Woodland Fashions. It contained two pairs of shorts, a water bottle, some documents stacked in a file and some sweets I had bought at the airport for my family.
While
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 I understand that searching for my bag is not an easy task, I request you to kindly consider
this
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 case with utmost priority. Yours faithfully, Joe
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

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task achievement
Your letter's task response is excellent; you have covered all the points required by the task prompt effectively. To further enhance this, try adding more specific details or emotions regarding how the loss of the bag affected you personally or any immediate inconvenience it caused. This adds depth to the narrative and showcases your ability to convey personal experiences in writing.
coherence cohesion
Your coherence and cohesion are strong, with a clear logical structure, suitable greeting and closing, and a coherent single idea per paragraph approach. To improve, consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to connect sentences and ideas more smoothly. Although the structure is clear, enhancing the flow between sentences can further refine your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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