IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that nuclear weapons benefit the world at large. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #weapons #benefit #world
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Although
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 these days many pursue international peace, there
are
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is
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 a myriad
of
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apply
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countries
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 have nuclear
weapons
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. Some said
say
Add the particle
to say
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 that the
weapons
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 are beneficial for the
world
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,
however
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, others believe that nuclear
weapons
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 have negative impacts on the
world
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 rather than advantages.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of view
about
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of
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this
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 argument and elaborate my perspective in the following paragraphs before leading to a logical conclusion. On the one hand, those who are in
favor
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favour
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 of possession of nuclear
weapons
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 argue that having the
weapons
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 is one of the means of defending their own
countries
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. To be exact, if a country
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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own
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owns
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 nuclear
weapons
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use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 them, it would derive
on
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in
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 the worst situations,
therefore
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, many
countries
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 are
challenging
Wrong verb form
challenged
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 to attack nations which are possessing
that
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that weapon
those weapons
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weapons
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.
For example
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, even though North Korea, one of the
countries
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 which are possessing nuclear
weapons
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, is smaller and weaker than its near
countries
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, that country is
protecting
Wrong verb form
protected
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 from nearby nations
such
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 as China, South Korea, Russia and so forth.
Accordingly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nuclear
weapons
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 can prohibit
from
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apply
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other
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countries'
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countries
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attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
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.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nuclear
weapons
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 are double-edged swords. Some believe that in
21st
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the 21st
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 century, most
countries
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 make an effort to maintain
peaceful
Add an article
a peaceful
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world
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 and even possession of nuclear
weapons
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 can blow massive bad effects on the
world
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.
For instance
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, not only
using
Add a missing verb
does using
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 nuclear
weapons
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 exert harmful influence
in
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on
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human
Add an article
the human
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 body but
also
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countries
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 attacked with the
weapons
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 would be much worse than before, suffering from economic and diplomatic problems from other
countries
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.
Therefore
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, nuclear
weapons
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 will surely be international problematic issues. In conclusion, nuclear
weapons
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 can protect
from
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apply
show examples
other
countries
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,
however
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,
those
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can have adverse effects on many parts
in
Change preposition
of
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 the
world
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. In my opinion, in
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century with peace and love, nuclear
weapons
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 should disappear and if there are some conflicts between
countries
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, they must alleviate issues wisely without violence.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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