IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better alternative ways. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

#people #tax #industries #pollution #alternative
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Some say that raising
taxes
Use synonyms
 on different industrial fields will decrease contamination.
However
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, Others believe there are many better alternatives. From my point of view, I totally agree with the second opinion. There are some positive effects on the
environment
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 when increasing
taxes
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.
Firstly
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, it can make
businesses
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 more accountable for their
pollution
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 and can induce them to adopt cleaner
technologies
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. When
businesses
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 have to pay a lot for polluting, it negatively affects their profits. That will encourage them to reduce contamination and use cleaner
technologies
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 since it becomes cheaper to do so.
Secondly
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,
tax
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 revenue can be used to fund environmental projects and boost efforts to mitigate
pollution
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. Obviously, every day, people all over the world litter lots of rubbish into the
environment
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 and make
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 polluted, so increasing
tax
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 revenue can be considered. That
tax
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 can be directly allocated to environmental projects,
such
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 as cleaning up polluted sites, developing renewable energy sources and restoring natural habitats. A part of that
tax
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 could be spent on doing research and developing cleaner
technologies
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.
However
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, high taxation might discourage
businesses
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 from operating at full capacity, potentially having detrimental economic consequences. That can lead to a lack of supplication, decrease competition and reduce production capacity. There are alternative methods, like stricter regulations and enforcement, which can directly address the issue of
pollution
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.
For example
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,
businesses
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 using unclean
technologies
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 and polluting the
environment
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 should be strictly punished, like being closed or fined lots of money.
Moreover
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, Public awareness campaigns can be highly effective in changing individual behaviour towards the
environment
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, reducing
overall
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 contamination. Some channels and public activities should be established to raise people’s awareness of mitigating
pollution
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.
Finally
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, the government should give incentives for green technology adoption that can encourage
businesses
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 to switch to more sustainable practices without the negative impact of high
taxes
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. These incentives might increase business capacity and encourage them to make better products. That will have some positive economic consequences. In short,
although
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 some say that raising
taxes
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 on various industries may decrease
pollution
Use synonyms
, I firmly believe that there are better alternatives.
Submitted by anhpham.712688 on

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task achievement
Strengthen the examples used to support your points. Adding specific examples or real-world cases would help to make your arguments more compelling and relatable.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are well-supported with relevant evidence. This will make your essay more convincing and robust.
coherence cohesion
You could improve the logical flow of your essay by using more transition words and phrases. This will help to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, giving a strong framework to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Most of your main points are well-structured and logically organized. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The ideas presented are generally clear and comprehensible, which makes your essay accessible to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pollution reduction
  • accountable
  • cleaner technologies
  • tax revenue
  • environmental projects
  • mitigate pollution
  • stricter regulations
  • public awareness campaigns
  • behavior change
  • sustainable practices
  • incentives
  • green technology adoption
  • negative economic consequences
  • alternative methods
  • enforcement
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