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Band 7.5

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #job #love #factors
People
 have different opinions about what contributes to financial success/achievement. While some of them believe that the main factor contributing to an improvement in their monetary situation is their hard
work
, I do not agree with them. In my opinion, the increment in earnings depends on numerous
factors
. It is true that there are several lines of evidence supporting the view that
people
 can obtain more financial benefits by working hard. To be more specific, ordinary workers, through
this
 method, can create better
work
 performance, and
thus
 earn higher salaries since, in most companies, salaries are determined by performance/results.
In addition
, it is possible for entrepreneurs to earn more by devoting more time to their
work
, identifying and recruiting talent and focusing on delivering products or services that cater to the needs of the customer.
However
, I agree with those who believe that several
factors
 contribute to financial gain, and mere dedication cannot facilitate monetary success beyond a certain extent.
For example
, most
people
 engaging in manual labour
work
 really hard and yet they do not earn much.
By contrast
, those who have white-collar jobs earn considerably higher salaries due to their mastery of professional knowledge and skills, and
this
 can explain the view that the secret of monetary gain is a combination of other
factors
 and hard
work
.
In addition
, there are
also
 some extreme situations where some
people
 have obtained massive wealth from their ancestors, and
such
 monetary achievement is not related to working hard. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the
factors
 contributing to financial accomplishment are not restricted to individuals’ dedication, but vary from person to person, depending on their own situations.
Submitted by huseyinemrecan38 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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