IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that popular TV entertainment programs should aim to educate viewers about some social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that famous TV shows should educate the
people
Use synonyms
 in
context
Correct article usage
the context
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social problems. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 I completely
agrees
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it will spread
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about family planning and helps to curb the
deadily
Correct your spelling
deadly
 diseases.
First
Linking Words
 of all, entertainment shows
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness among the
people
Use synonyms
 regarding family planning.
This
Linking Words
 is because
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the
people
Use synonyms
 watch TV to enjoy their favourite shows. If
such
Linking Words
 shows will focus on the issues
such
Linking Words
 as family planning,
people
Use synonyms
 will
undertsand
Correct your spelling
understand
 more and adopt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
methods which they do not understand
othewise
Correct your spelling
otherwise
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it will lead to
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigating
show examples
 the issue of
growing
Add an article
a growing
the growing
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in china
poular
Correct your spelling
popular
 shows
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
foccused
Correct your spelling
focused
 more on the issue of expanding
population
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 shows proved
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 and brought
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 of china in control by making citizens more
responbile
Correct your spelling
responsible
responsive
 and adopting a single child policy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, famous leisure shows on television
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 a crucial role in addressing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social issues.
Additionally
Linking Words
, these days healths disorders related to tobacco
cunsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
such
Linking Words
 as oral
cancer
Use synonyms
 are on
surge
Add an article
the surge
show examples
. The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should telecast shows related to
Correct article usage
the spread
show examples
spread
Change the verb form
spreading
show examples
 of
cancer
Use synonyms
 and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
Add an article
the implication
an implication
show examples
implication
Fix the agreement mistake
implications
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that it will deter
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smokers from smoking and it will decline the rate of oral
cancer
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 in India, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the famous dramas and movies
spreads
Change the verb form
spread
show examples
 educational awareness regarding
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
cancer
Use synonyms
 by displaying the
messsage
Correct your spelling
message
 "quit smoking before
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 too late".
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
think's
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 twice before smoking.
Thus
Linking Words
, telecasting
such
Linking Words
 educational shows will address the
prevelance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
 of
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 disorders in society. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
televison
Correct your spelling
television
 shows should educate the citizens regarding social problems. Not only it does help to control the
population
Use synonyms
 explosion, but it
also
Linking Words
 does improve the
quaility
Correct your spelling
quality
 of life among the individual.

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