IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries the average weight people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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NOWADAYS, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT THE RATIO OF OBESITY HAS BEEN INCREASING IN MANY COUNTRIES.
THIS
Linking Words
 ESSAY WILL EXPLAIN THE MAIN REASONS FOR THAT ILLNESS WHICH ARE AN INCREASE IN UNHEALTHY
FOOD
Use synonyms
 CONSUMPTION AND A LACK OF EXERCISE,
HOWEVER
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, IT WILL PROVIDE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS FOR THESE PROBLEMS.
FIRSTLY
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, IT HAS BEEN KNOWN THAT CONSUMING UNHEALTHY
FOOD
Use synonyms
 WITHOUT ENOUGH PHYSICAL ACTIVITY RESULT IN OBESITY. TO ELABORATE, FAST FOODS CONTAIN A LOT OF CARBS AND SALT TO PROVIDE A GOOD TASTE, WHICH ARE UNHEALTHY INGREDIENTS AND
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
 TEND TO CONSUME THEM BECAUSE OF THEIR HECTIC LIVES.
BESIDES
Linking Words
 COOKING, DUE TO THEIR OVERWHELMING WORKLOADS, THEY CAN NOT SPARE TIME FOR EXERCISE. AS A CONSEQUENCE,
PEOPLE
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 GAIN WEIGHT AND THE INEVITABLE END EMERGES WHICH IS OBESITY. AS A SOLUTION,
PEOPLE
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 CAN BE WARNED THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA ABOUT UNHEALTHY INGREDIENTS OR THE IMPORTANCE OF HOMEMADE
FOOD
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.
FOR EXAMPLE
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, RECENTLY CELEBRITIES STARTED A NEW CAMPAIGN WITH A HASHTAG TO ENCOURAGE
PEOPLE
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 FOR COOKING FANCY MEALS AT HOME AND EVERYONE WAS INFLUENCED BY THAT MOVEMENT AND AS A ,RESULT FOLLOWED THEIR STEPS.
BESIDES
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 CELEBRITIES, COMPANIES SHOULD ENCOURAGE THEIR STAFF FOR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. TO EXTEND, THEY SHOULD ARRANGE SPORTS COMPETITIONS
SUCH
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 AS FOOTBALL MATCHES. IT COULD HELP
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
 TO LOSE CALORIES.
AS A RESULT
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, A BALANCE BETWEEN TAKEN AND SPENT CALORIES COULD BE ACHIEVED. TO SUM UP, IT CAN BE SAID THAT THE INCREASED RATE OF OVERWEIGHT IS CAUSED BY THE CHANGE OF
FOOD
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 CONSUMPTION HABITS
SUCH
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 AS A TENDENCY TO EAT FAST
FOOD
Use synonyms
 AND A SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE AND TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS, IT SHOULD BE TAKEN SOME ACTIONS
SUCH
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 AS AWARENESS CAMPAIGNS OR CREATING AN ENVIRONMENT TO EAGER FOR DOING SPORTS.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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