Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?
In recent times, most
individuals
prefer socialising on the internet instead
of physical interaction. I believe it's a positive development because it has eliminated geographical barriers in communication
and it has also
helped socially awkward persons interact better.
Firstly
, in a fast-paced world, online communication
encourages people
from different parts of the world to maintain healthy relationships that would have been impossible to sustain if they were face-to-face. For example
, people
now stay connected and meet in cyberspace online without the constraint of time zones. In addition
, this
global reach fosters connections between diverse individuals
, therefore
promoting cross-cultural understanding.
However
, one drawback of socializing online is the reduction in the quality of interpersonal communication
. Face-to-face interactions enable individuals
to read body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Traditionally, communities have been built through face-to-face social activities such
as neighborhood
events, clubs, and group meetings. Change the spelling
neighbourhood
However
, as more people
turn to digital platforms, these social gatherings may decline, leading to weaker communal bonds. Furthermore
, the advancement of technology has made social media platforms more accessible, hence
providing opportunities for individuals
who struggle with timidity and social anxiety through online communication
, thereby allowing them to express themselves freely without feeling shy. For instance
, people
who are introverted use online chats as a way to boost their confidence in social situations. However
, online socializing can erode the sense of community that comes from physical gatherings with others.
In conclusion, the shift towards online socialization is a positive development. As it enhances global interaction, it promotes cultural diversity and inclusivity. Therefore
, I believe this
change should be seen as a progressive step in modern human interaction.Submitted by m.bunmifausat on
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task achievement
Consider discussing the drawbacks of online socialisation in a more balanced manner. While you mention the reduction in quality of interpersonal communication, it would be beneficial to elaborate further on the potential negative implications.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your main points. This would help to illustrate your arguments more convincingly. For instance, you could mention specific social media platforms or give more detailed anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with repetition. Some points about the benefits of online communication were mentioned more than once. Try to make each paragraph unique in its contribution to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. Linking phrases can help guide the reader through your reasoning.
introduction conclusion present
Great introduction and conclusion! Both are clear, concise, and effectively frame your argument.
logical structure
Your essay is well-structured and logically organised, making it easy to follow your points and arguments.
relevant specific examples
Good use of relevant specific examples, especially when discussing the benefits for socially awkward persons. This adds depth to your argument.