Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development

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In recent times, most

individuals

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prefer socialising on the internet

instead

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of physical interaction. I believe it's a positive development because it has eliminated geographical barriers in

communication

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and it has

also

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helped socially awkward persons interact better.

Firstly

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, in a fast-paced world, online

communication

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encourages

people

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from different parts of the world to maintain healthy relationships that would have been impossible to sustain if they were face-to-face.

For example

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people

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now stay connected and meet in cyberspace online without the constraint of time zones.

In addition

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this

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global reach fosters connections between diverse

individuals

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therefore

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promoting cross-cultural understanding.

However

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, one drawback of socializing online is the reduction in the quality of interpersonal

communication

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. Face-to-face interactions enable

individuals

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to read body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Traditionally, communities have been built through face-to-face social activities

such

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neighborhood

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neighbourhood

show examples

events, clubs, and group meetings.

However

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, as more

people

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turn to digital platforms, these social gatherings may decline, leading to weaker communal bonds.

Furthermore

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, the advancement of technology has made social media platforms more accessible,

hence

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providing opportunities for

individuals

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who struggle with timidity and social anxiety through online

communication

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, thereby allowing them to express themselves freely without feeling shy.

For instance

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people

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who are introverted use online chats as a way to boost their confidence in social situations.

However

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, online socializing can erode the sense of community that comes from physical gatherings with others. In conclusion, the shift towards online socialization is a positive development. As it enhances global interaction, it promotes cultural diversity and inclusivity.

Therefore

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, I believe

this

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change should be seen as a progressive step in modern human interaction.

Submitted by m.bunmifausat on Tue Sep 24 2024

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task achievement

Consider discussing the drawbacks of online socialisation in a more balanced manner. While you mention the reduction in quality of interpersonal communication, it would be beneficial to elaborate further on the potential negative implications.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your main points. This would help to illustrate your arguments more convincingly. For instance, you could mention specific social media platforms or give more detailed anecdotes.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with repetition. Some points about the benefits of online communication were mentioned more than once. Try to make each paragraph unique in its contribution to your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. Linking phrases can help guide the reader through your reasoning.

introduction conclusion present

Great introduction and conclusion! Both are clear, concise, and effectively frame your argument.

logical structure

Your essay is well-structured and logically organised, making it easy to follow your points and arguments.

relevant specific examples

Good use of relevant specific examples, especially when discussing the benefits for socially awkward persons. This adds depth to your argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a friend who is looking for a part time job. Describe a job you have found for him/her including: - What are the duties? - Why do you think it is a good job for him/her? - What does he/she have to do to get it?

Some people say the government should spend money on providing faster public transport while others believe the government should give priority to other factors such as cost and the effect on environment. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?