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Band 6.5

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #internet
There is currently a contentious argument over whether
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is harmful and
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 many problems
on
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for
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people
.
Although
 I accept that using the
internet
harbors
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harbours
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 some positive implications
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 human beings, I mostly believe that
internet’s
Correct article usage
the internet’s
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 negative sides
is
Change the verb form
are
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 high than
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 sides. The main reason why I believe communication problems each other
people
 are created by the
internet
. Spending time on the
internet
 decrease social life and weakness
bond
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in bond
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family
Change preposition
in family
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 relatives.
For example
, in the past, when
people
 came to work, they spent time
family
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with family
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,
Correct word choice
and friends
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friends
Add the comma(s)
,friends
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 and went to
theatre
Correct article usage
the theatre
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,
cinema
Correct word choice
and cinema
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 and they socialized with each other. Nowadays
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 prefer surfing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
 in their spare time and watching
Add an article
a movie
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movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Netflix,
theatre
Fix the agreement mistake
theatres
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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YouTube and so on.
In addition
, if
people
 want to speak
,
Change preposition
to, see
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see
Correct word choice
and see
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 each other, they do not meet. Only they talk via
on
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skype, YouTube and so on. Another reason why I support the notion that
people
 are being impacted negatively is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 increasing depression rate.
People
 camouflage
truth
Correct article usage
the truth
show examples
 in their life and show everything is ideal on
the
Change the word
their
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 social account.
This
Correct pronoun usage
These
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 lies
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 depression
Change preposition
in the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 minority of the
people
.
Furthermore
, many apps on the
internet
creates
Change the verb form
create
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propensity
Correct article usage
a propensity
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of
Change preposition
for
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 the expense
money
Change preposition
of money
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.
For instance
, many games
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
month
Replace the word
monthly
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subscription
Fix the agreement mistake
subscriptions
show examples
.
However
, there are useful apps that help to cultivate language and digital skills at a reasonable price. If
people
 want to obtain these skills in the offline course, they spend more money than online apps. In conclusion, I hold the view that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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generate
Change the verb form
generates
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 serious problems
on
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in
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 society and
Correct article usage
the intelligent
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intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
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 level is might
decreased
Change the verb form
decrease
be decreased
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 by the
internet
 and
problem solve
Add a hyphen
problem-solve
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 not only
the
Change preposition
for the
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 individual but
also
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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state.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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