When new towns are planned , it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shoping centres. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centres

Dedicating specific areas to

establish

Wrong verb form

establishing

show examples

sports

facilities and public

parks

in new towns is more acceptable than setting up shopping centres. I am completely in agreement with the above-said view because these places are essential for human

health

and the modern lifestyle has decreased the importance of shopping malls. The following essay will overlook two rationales for my notion.

Firstly

, social services like

sports

amenities and green areas are playing increasingly important roles in maintaining human

health

. It was proved that

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

regular physical exercise decreases risks for many medical conditions, like osteoarthritis.

Moreover

, spending time in nature is being prescribed for mental

health

diseases.

For example

, doctors can prescribe visiting national

parks

for their patients in Canada.

Therefore

, specifying more places

Change preposition

for

show examples

these facilities should be

authorities'

Correct article usage

the authorities'

show examples

priorities

Fix the agreement mistake

priority

show examples

since it leads to public

health

, which is the most important thing that governments need to address.

Secondly

, the convenience of online shopping has contributed to a decrease in shopping centres' popularity. A great number of mobile applications are being introduced that not only provide various products that you might not be able to find in stores but

also

encourage customers to buy online by offering enticing offers.

For instance

, many companies like Zara are using online applications, which have made it possible to order

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

that are not available in their stores.

Consequently

, by using

this

modern technology, shopping malls are getting empty, and constructing them is not profitable. To sum up, new towns are expected to have more

sports

services and public

parks

than shopping centres. I believe the benefits that

exercises

Correct subject-verb agreement

exercise

show examples

and green areas have brought for our

health

and the revolution that has happened in the way of buying products make it reasonable to dedicate more budget

Change preposition

show examples

parks

and

sports

Submitted by panizfathi70128 on Sat Apr 09 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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