Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

modern era, pupils are often affected by serious illnesses that used to be found in adults

such

Linking Words

as Obesity. A sedentary lifestyle and high sugar intake have been the major factors

children

Use synonyms

experience in

this

Linking Words

severe condition.

However

Linking Words

several approaches can be taken to remove the causes.

To begin

Linking Words

with, laziness and unhealthy diet play a crucial role in advocating

children

Use synonyms

to suffer from obesity.

children

Use synonyms

nowadays tend to stay inside playing video games rather than doing outdoor activities

such

Linking Words

as sports. They profoundly depend on technology to asses their life, making them anti-social.

In addition

Linking Words

, eating junk food has exacerbated

this

Linking Words

condition which leads to carelessness with their health.

For example

Linking Words

While

Linking Words

watching movies,

children

Use synonyms

often order snacks using online applications to accompany them.

However

Linking Words

, to address the sedentary lifestyle and imbalanced diet, encouraging outdoor activity and monitoring meals can be used by the

parents

Use synonyms

. In urban

cities

Add a comma

cities,

show examples

there are many communities which focus on preserving

children

Use synonyms

's health. Their program involves observation of

children

Use synonyms

’s activity and eating habits.

Parents

Use synonyms

could enrol their

children

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

kind of organization. By engaging in

this

Linking Words

program,

parents

Use synonyms

could receive periodic reports about their

children

Use synonyms

's condition.

As a result

Linking Words

, they will feel safe raising their kids.

To sum up

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

often experience serious diseases because of the lack of regular supervision by their

parents

Use synonyms

about their lifestyle

as well as

Linking Words

their food intake. To tackle

this

Linking Words

issue,

parents

Use synonyms

could join their kids in some communities to ensure they become more flexible by doing outdoor activities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, by having regular records of their meals,

parent

Add an article

a parent

the parent

show examples

can ensure their

children

Use synonyms

have healthy diets making them healthier.

christiansuhendraWed Apr 09 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing a more comprehensive overview of the problem of obesity in children, including its prevalence or statistics, to add depth to your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Try to strengthen the connection between your main ideas by using more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Be careful with capitalization and punctuation. Ensure that you capitalize the first letter of each sentence and proper nouns, and that all punctuation is used correctly, especially around transitional phrases.

task achievement

You have clearly identified the causes of obesity among children and offered relevant solutions, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Sedentary lifestyle
Prevalent
Genetic predisposition
Comfort eating
Screen time
Physical education
Nutritional education
Economic disparities
Food deserts
Subsidize
Advertising
Weight management
Junk food
Healthy food options
Physical activity
Body image
Counseling
Consumer education

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe the government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
According to some, the millions spent annually on government- funded space projects would be better invested in addressing urgent issues on this planet. Although there are undoubtedly many problems on Earth that need tackling, I firmly believe that diverting financial resources from space exploration would be a mistake. These projects have brought, and will continue to bring, great benefits to humanity.
6.5
band
ome people think that the teenager’s years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
A part of people believe that adolescence time is a joyful period of many individual's lives. However, others think that adulthood gives them more enjoyment, while it has more obligations to perform. Although post-adolescence age brings more happiness in the forms of economic and social status, I believe that teen years are the happiest phase of our lives.
6
band
some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work on the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is agreed by many that experts such as doctors and engineers have to serve their country where they spent their study. Other people argue that they should have the freedom to get a job abroad. In my opinion, I believe that a person has their own consideration to have a better living according to the opportunity they have either to stay in their home country or to go abroad to find better income.
7.5
band
Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Arguing to create a school’s policy is important today. The public says that students should be included in making rules at school. Others believe that producing the policy is the responsibility of teachers or parents. I think that youngsters must be involved in establishing some policies at school in order to improve their abilities.
8
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While there are individuals who hold on to the idea that what we purchase is highly influenced by advertising, others contend that our choices have nothing to do with marketing since its prevalence has left it ineffective in grabbing the public's attention. Both sides have convincing reasons and some evidence to prove them right. My personal perception has convinced me that advertising both implicitly and explicitly is crucial to a business's survival.

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people believe the government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ome people think that the teenager’s years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work on the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.