IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions.* To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
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It is believed that international
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 should be
charge
Wrong verb form
charged
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more free
Replace the words
freer
show examples
 when they visit cultural and
Correct your spelling
historical
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hist orical
Correct your spelling
historical
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 attractions than local residents . I broadly do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 motion
owing
Add the preposition
toowing
show examples
 the fact that if the state
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
ticket price for only
Replace the word
foreign
show examples
foreigners
Use synonyms
tourist
Use synonyms
 ,there will be
decline
Add an article
a decline
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 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
Use synonyms
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
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, and
also
Linking Words
 it will
,
Remove the comma
apply
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make
foreigners
Use synonyms
feels
Change the verb form
feel
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discriminated
.
Change preposition
against.
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First
Linking Words
 and foremost , if the government increases tickets fee for
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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, the number of international tourists will go down .
This
Linking Words
 is because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the international
visitors
Use synonyms
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
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 afford to gather for
Add an article
a
the
show examples
higher cost . As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
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Add a comma
,
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the
countries
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country's
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 economy will be affected negatively since income brought by
foreigners
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 to the state will
reduced
Change the verb form
reduce
be reduced
show examples
. To illustrate , In 2020 ,the Kenyan authorities passed a law that international
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 visiting any historical site should be charged
double
Correct article usage
a double
show examples
 rate , since
then
Linking Words
 the number of
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 vising Kenya has dropped drastically.
Hence
Linking Words
 ,
fall
Correct article usage
the fall
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 of
Kenyan
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the Kenyan
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 economy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, charging foreign
visitors
Use synonyms
 extra money
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
 what the
locals
Fix the agreement mistake
local
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 pay will lead to
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
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 of international
visitors
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 visiting cultural and historical sites .
secondly
Linking Words
 , international travellers have a right to be treated equally as local
visitors
Use synonyms
 when it comes to payment for touring both historical and cultural places.It is based on the fact that whatever is displayed in the historical and cultural sites is the same for everyone .
Hence
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
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separation of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in terms of nationality in my opinion is an act of racial discrimination.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Amboseli
Correct article usage
the Amboseli
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museam
Correct your spelling
museum
 is
Add an article
a
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very popular historical place in Uganda, it is visited by thousands of international
visitors
Use synonyms
 every year.
However
Linking Words
, there was an article published by one of the
foreigner
Change to a plural noun
foreigners
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 who had visited
Amboseli
Correct article usage
the Amboseli
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 museum complaining of how the
foreigners
Use synonyms
 were
discriminate
Wrong verb form
discriminated
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by
Change preposition
against by
show examples
 making them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
pay double rates for visiting the same museum visited by indigenous tourists who
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
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cheaper
Correct article usage
a cheaper
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, racial discrimination should be discouraged when it comes to charging
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
Correct your spelling
for
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fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigners
Use synonyms
 . In summary , in my view , tourists and local
visitors
Use synonyms
 should pay
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount of money to visit cultural and historical places considering the fact that if
foreigners
Use synonyms
 are charged more than
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 it will discourage them from visiting the sites as well as making them feel discriminated.
Submitted by jepchumbad on

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