IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
It is a fact that
people
 are able to buy groceries more easily from other countries in the world at supermarkets in
this
 day and age.
While
 I accept that it brings us several advantages, I
also
 believe that it
also
 has some drawbacks. On the one hand, I assume that purchasing food from various parts of the world creates a variety of choices when
people
 go to supermarkets. Indeed, consumers have chances to access seasonal fruits year round, even if their places are unable to cultivate them
due to
 the weather conditions. Another advantage is that international products may increase economic benefits. To be more specific, it helps global trade develop by generating a great deal of job opportunities in many fields
such
 as logistics, import, and retail sectors.
On the other hand
, I suppose that
this
 global development could bring about several disadvantages.
Firstly
, food safety and quality are not ensured. There exists the risk of spoilage or crushing owing to the difficulty in preservation during transportation, especially fruits and vegetables.
Furthermore
, the domestic economy and local agriculture may be impacted significantly. Local farmers and producers have to struggle to compete with imported goods since the number of consumers buying local agricultural products has declined.
As a result
, many local companies or farms may face bankruptcy. In conclusion,
while
 it is true that supporting international products brings
people
 several advantages, it seems to me that it is not always a viable option for everyone, particularly for local
people
.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention particular countries or types of food where food safety was an issue or how international trade has specifically impacted local economies.
coherence cohesion
You've done well to organize your ideas clearly with distinct paragraphs for each point. However, ensure each main idea is not only listed but deeply explored. More in-depth analysis can boost the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion neatly laid out. This helps the reader follow your arguments easily.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view of both the positives and negatives of the topic, which shows a well-rounded understanding and analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your language use is generally precise and effective, facilitating a smooth flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: