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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,
due to
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 the rise of job-immigration abroad, an argument has come to some people's minds that these individuals should be obligated to
work
Use synonyms
 where they were trained;
while
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 others assume that they have the right to choose where they want to
work
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will analyze both views and I will indicate my own agreement with the latter. On one hand, the first group may consider the fact that professionals had used the facilities and investments of their countries to become doctors, engineers, etc; and
for
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this
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 reason, they should remain and
work
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 there. A student who has used the government's funds to study at university
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has to repay
this
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 investment.
For example
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, in Iran, students who studied freely, have to
work
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 in their
country
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 twice the time they have used
this
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 free education;
otherwise
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, they are obligated to pay back the whole money in case of going abroad and using their license.
On the other hand
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, the second group argue that human beings have the right to choose another
country
Use synonyms
 if they desire. They believe that being trained in a
country
Use synonyms
 does not mean that they should be stuck in it for their whole life. To clarify
this
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, if a doctor is being offered a more beneficial job in another
country
Use synonyms
 which
also
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 affects the quality of their personal life, they should have the right to decide without thinking of any pay-back. I tend to believe that
this
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 view is more logical
due to
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 human rights and freedom. In conclusion,
although
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 there might be convincing reasons for remaining where you were educated, I believe that forbidding individuals from working where they demand, is not humanistic and logical.

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task achievement
Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed equally. Spend the same amount of time discussing both sides of the argument before presenting your own viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Try to diversify your linking words to demonstrate a broader range of coherence devices and avoid repetition.
task achievement
Include specific examples to substantiate your points. Your examples should be detailed enough to illustrate how they directly support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your essay structure to ensure that there is a natural flow of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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