The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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Nowadays, people are more aware of their bodies and health. The problem is not only happened to adults but

also

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to children. Some cases are caused by eating junk food and less

activity

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due to the pandemic situation. In order to solve the problem, people need to do more physical

activity

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to avoid obesity.

Therefore

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, I strongly agree that physical education lessons are introduced into the school curriculum. More physical education lessons introduced in the school curriculum can lead to healthier, more productive, and hopefully more income in the future. By doing sports regularly, not only the students’ bodies will get fitter but

also

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they are likely to think clearer. It is because the supply of oxygen is higher when students do

exercise

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. If they get healthier and able to think clearer they will be more productive and achieve more at school by having good grades or winning the competition. Another point to consider is that doing

exercise

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regularly will

also

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influence society to do the same. Especially when the impact of the

exercise

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is already felt and seen. When their children are seen as very active and rarely sick due to the physical

activity

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, the parents and teacher may be curious and

finally

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follow the

exercise

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routine to achieve the same results. The impact will get bigger if they

exercise

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together.

Nevertheless

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, it has to be fun so it will not be too much burden to do sports for the elderly. All in all, I strongly believe that by introducing more physical

activity

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, the impact will not only be felt by the students but

also

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by the society around them.

Submitted by nadita.ayudya on Sat Apr 09 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that they should maintain all of the money they earn and should not pay taxes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generation, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree? Why.

In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

In some societies, it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.