IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

1. What motivates and inspires you? How will you use your experience and strengths in order to contribute to the program and enrich the experiences of your classmates? (Maximum 300 Words)

#strengths #program #experiences #classmates
Nowadays, as
money
 plays an important role in life, society, and country, I personally believe that
money
 is one of the important factors which helps our society become better. In my childhood life, I got a good chance in my life from my family to keep
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 how to manage my income and expenses. In the beginning, I started learning about the fundamental knowledge of personal
money
 management. When I was young, I only received a salary from the family. I will save my
money
 in my bank accounts at least 40% of my salary. When I attended university, I withdrew 30% of my bank accounts to invest in other categories of investment,
such
 as
stocks
, cryptocurrencies, funds, and others, because these sorts of investments provide higher interest when we compared these investing methods with another one. At that time, I decided to invest in
stocks
 because I thought that
stocks
 could speculate and learn more easily than investing in cryptocurrencies and could allocate my investment portfolio more conveniently than investing in funds.
Therefore
, Before I purchase
stocks
 in some firms, I have to study the essential factors that affect the price of the
stocks
,
such
 as news, bond yields, price of commodities, the policy of the government, inflation, deflation, and others. These factors have an impact on the economy, investment, and global currency, not only in developed countries but
also
 in developing countries. As mentioned above, these things inspire me to be interested in learning about and developing
money
 management to make the highest profit for my portfolio. As I graduated in electrical engineering, I am confident that I can apply my knowledge about technology and innovation to
this
 subject. I believe that I can exchange my previous knowledge with my classmate because in the future technology and finance will be combined together.
Submitted by boatakrawin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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