IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The precedence of exploring the history and culture of other nations was always a hotly debatable topic
has
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
 now become more controversial
while
Linking Words
 copious people claim that it is advantageous to
travel
Use synonyms
 to different parts of the world owing to acquired information about their ancient history and rituals.
while
Linking Words
 critics argue that it is not essential to visit plenty of places because everything is available through the internet and social media. In my, opinion the formal propositions appear to be more rational.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 elaborate on my views on the positive and negative impact of
this
Linking Words
 trend and
thus
Linking Words
 will lead to an analytical conclusion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, to commence with the first statement I firmly
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that in an effort to get know-how and acquire adequate
information
Add a comma
information,
show examples
 it is vital to physically interact with an area or place.
furthermore
Linking Words
, many vloggers and tourists
travel
Use synonyms
 around the earth not only to learn about their culture but
also
Linking Words
 portraits to the wider folks throughout nature using social media. to illustrate, numerous foreigners
travel
Use synonyms
 to Pakistan and have a range of conversations with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ethnic people that enable them to evaluate rituals and customs which is quite crucial if we get to know well any person
moreover
Linking Words
 they tend to visit the art and craft sites and monuments enable them to learn about their past-time that can not be possible with the eminent usage of technology, books, and movies.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the critics it is not vital to visit
the
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 places owing to because we are dwelling in the age of technology and modernization and
due to
Linking Words
 information technology
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 has become a global village that's why it's not necessary to
travel
Use synonyms
 to that place
according to
Linking Words
 their school of thought every source of knowledge is widely accessible to the general public.
furthermore
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the critics, it's a time-consuming process
therefore
Linking Words
 it
also
Linking Words
involved
Wrong verb form
involves
show examples
 material costs that can be secured through the usage of today's modern age.
for example
Linking Words
, plenty of
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
 video is available about the China wall they
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 data about whom it was built and to whom it was built.
furthermore
Linking Words
, material-related info
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 long it
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
Finally
Linking Words
, to recapitulate,
according to
Linking Words
 the aforementioned points reach a conclusion that it is essential to
travel
Use synonyms
 to a specific place in order to get to know efficiently for their customs and traditions which would not be possible through watching movies and surfing the internet relevant to them

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The logic and flow of ideas need improvement. Use transition words and phrases to create a more coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more engaging and concise.
coherence cohesion
The main points are not fully developed and lack sufficient support and explanation.
task achievement
The essay somewhat addresses the prompt but needs more focus on substantiating the arguments and providing clearer examples.
task achievement
The ideas are somewhat clear, but they lack coherence and the examples need to be more relevant and fully developed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Authentic experiences
  • Cultural immersion
  • Sensory learning
  • Cost-effective
  • Language barriers
  • Interpersonal interactions
  • Balanced approach
  • Virtual tours
  • Lived experiences
  • Credibility of sources
  • Misconceptions
  • Multicultural competency
  • Stimulate curiosity
  • Digital platforms
  • Stereotypes
  • Environmentally sustainable
  • Hands-on experience
  • Global perspective
  • Biased information
  • Cultural nuances
What to do next:
Look at other essays: