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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think that this has brought people closer together while other things people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

Modern technology enjoys having been incorporated into daily habits.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 applications
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, Twitter, and Messenger are
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
 role
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 generation
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 meeting new
people
Use synonyms
 and
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
with
Correct pronoun usage
themwith
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, having claimed to brought
people
Use synonyms
 in close contact,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
others have become isolated. In my opinion, social
media
Use synonyms
 has a massive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society because
interaction
Add an article
the interaction
show examples
 is easily attainable
with
Change preposition
within
show examples
 different time
frame
Fix the agreement mistake
frames
show examples
, whereas
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 negative impact makes
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
limit face-to-face conversation. The internet
social
Correct word choice
and social
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 provides the society closer together
; and
Change the punctuation
, and
;
show examples
 a possibility to have connected with new
people
Use synonyms
 all over the world.
In addition
Linking Words
, having everyday
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 with several
people
Use synonyms
 produces light mode
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 individuals with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 and
passion
Fix the agreement mistake
passions
show examples
. Friendship is gain to have obtained even though they only meet thru
website
Add an article
the website
a website
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, I have
meet
Change the verb form
met
show examples
 several of my friends thru twitter
although
Linking Words
 we have not
meet
Change the verb form
met
show examples
 in person, and because we
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
 the same content like
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 celebrities
idolizes
Correct subject-verb agreement
idolize
show examples
 our conversation takes hours and hours.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 side because it limits
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society's face-to-face interaction. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
 are occupied about having in-front of the gadgets all the time, and the value of
direct
Correct article usage
a direct
show examples
 contract becomes less important.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can develop into self-isolation that can affect the
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
persons'
show examples
 way of thinking
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, at some point in my life, I developed a lack of confidence to talk with other
people
Use synonyms
 in person because I felt they may judge me. In conclusion, the internet makes waves to have constructed in peoples interaction, which created easy access in different time zone and places,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it provides direct communication less important.

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