IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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A
museum
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 is one of the lovely
culturelly
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culturally
value
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values
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 in any country. several museums have their policy in order to organize the
visitors
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 and the
place
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. I believe it is important to put some fee to
entry
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enter
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 the
museum
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 that could provide some
money
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 to take care of the
place
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 and some
people
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 feel more respect to the
museum
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 when they pay
money
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 and to limit the
visitors
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 .
In contrast
Linking Words
, the poor
people
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 could not visit the
museum
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 and enjoy
there
Correct pronoun usage
themselves there
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 because of the
charge
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. Every
place
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need
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needs
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 some
money
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 to run it and provide a healthy and clean environment to
people
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 to pay for cleaner and some replacement as well to enhance the
place
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.
in addition
Linking Words
,
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Add an article
the museum
a museum
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museum
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museums
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 should put some
fee
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fees
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 to limit the
numbers
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number
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 of
visitors
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 because if it is for free
then
Linking Words
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
thousands of
people
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 would be there in order to reduce the
visitors
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 they
charge
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 for admission.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
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 increase their respect
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
place
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 when they pay
money
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. Indeed, my friend Ahmed
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
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 in a
museum
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 as a manager so he
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
 the
money
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 the
museum
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 got
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from the fees they spent
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on the
museum
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 to take care of it and attempt to develop it. Clearly, these
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 of the merits of charging for admission.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is one of the disadvantages of
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
 some
charge
Use synonyms
 to
entry
Replace the word
enter
show examples
 the
museum
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that is
Linking Words
 poor
people
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 can not afford to pay it and visit it and enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
 their family like other individuals.
This
Linking Words
 would lead to
unfair
Correct article usage
an unfair
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 situation and make their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 worse
Correct word choice
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
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 it is.
For example
Linking Words
, my
neighbor
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neighbour
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 Jack can not take his three children to the
museum
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 because it will
Correct your spelling
cost
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coat
Correct your spelling
cost
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 him around 20 dollars and he kept saying I rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
have a big lunch with
this
Linking Words
money
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 than just go to the
museum
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 and look at some kind of art or historical
place
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 and feel hungry for the rest of the day with my children. In conclusion,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
I lot
 of
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 ask for
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charge
Add an article
a charge
the charge
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 for admission but
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 make it
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free to
entrence
Correct your spelling
entrance
 the
museum
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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