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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
A
museum
 is one of the lovely
culturelly
Correct your spelling
culturally
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
 in any country. several museums have their policy in order to organize the
visitors
 and the
place
. I believe it is important to put some fee to
entry
Replace the word
enter
show examples
 the
museum
 that could provide some
money
 to take care of the
place
 and some
people
 feel more respect to the
museum
 when they pay
money
 and to limit the
visitors
 .
In contrast
, the poor
people
 could not visit the
museum
 and enjoy
there
Correct pronoun usage
themselves there
show examples
 because of the
charge
. Every
place
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 some
money
 to run it and provide a healthy and clean environment to
people
 to pay for cleaner and some replacement as well to enhance the
place
.
in addition
,
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 should put some
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 to limit the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 because if it is for free
then
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
thousands of
people
 would be there in order to reduce the
visitors
 they
charge
 for admission.
Furthermore
,
people
 increase their respect
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
place
 when they pay
money
. Indeed, my friend Ahmed
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 in a
museum
 as a manager so he
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
 the
money
 the
museum
 got
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from the fees they spent
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on the
museum
 to take care of it and attempt to develop it. Clearly, these
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 of the merits of charging for admission.
On the other hand
, there is one of the disadvantages of
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
 some
charge
 to
entry
Replace the word
enter
show examples
 the
museum
that is
 poor
people
 can not afford to pay it and visit it and enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
 their family like other individuals.
This
 would lead to
unfair
Correct article usage
an unfair
show examples
 situation and make their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 worse
Correct word choice
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 it is.
For example
, my
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
 Jack can not take his three children to the
museum
 because it will
Correct your spelling
cost
show examples
coat
Correct your spelling
cost
show examples
 him around 20 dollars and he kept saying I rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
have a big lunch with
this
money
 than just go to the
museum
 and look at some kind of art or historical
place
 and feel hungry for the rest of the day with my children. In conclusion,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
I lot
 of
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 ask for
charge
Add an article
a charge
the charge
show examples
 for admission but
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 make it
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free to
entrence
Correct your spelling
entrance
 the
museum
.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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