IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say modern children's games do not develop a wide range of skills, while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #games #range #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that
games
 are beneficial to the development of
children
's abilities to some extent. Some individuals claim that
games
 played in traditional ways could be much more efficiently and effectively than in modern ways to promote
such
 abilities. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
 viewpoint. Personally, classical
games
 enable
children
 to enhance their intelligence quotient, physical ability and social
skills
 well since these
games
 are mostly offline activities, which require kids to experience and participate physically. By really getting involved in the game, it makes their bodies and brains move or prompts them to communicate with others. We can see
children
 who play football or basketball are usually stronger than their peers and have better interpersonal
skills
 due to they often need to interact with their teammates to think about strategies. If kids only play electronic
games
 which are the most common modern
games
,
instead
 of going out of their home with friends, it is difficult for them to exercise and communicate with others. Those who disagree may argue that the young people who play
games
 on the internet can have better teamwork and interpersonal
skills
 as multiplayer
games
 include a huge proportion of team works.
In other words
, turning on their microphone and speaking fully with teammates from different countries around the world allow their social
skills
 developed faster.
However
, those kids still cannot improve
such
 abilities without playing in a real environment.
This
 is because people often pay more attention to the
games
 rather than how to speak with their teammates, which means they still do know how to socialize when it comes to an outdoor activity. To sum up, modern
games
 like electronic
games
 may contain some communication, but traditional
games
 can enhance
children
's
skills
 in an all-round way.
Submitted by 59213142 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • motor skills
  • social interactions
  • strategic thinking
  • interpersonal skills
  • repetitive actions
  • digital interaction
  • real-world scenarios
  • educational content
  • traditional vs. modern
  • physical activity
  • screen time
  • creativity
  • intellectual challenge
  • health implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: