It is better to save money than to spend it.How far do you agree with this statement.
Financial issues have always been an important topic for everyone. Some
people
believe that money
should be saved rather than spent while
I disagree and it seems to me that it is better to be spent properly.
Firstly
, people
work to live. Salaries are used for living expenses and basic needs such
as food and shelter as well as
health-related expenditures. For example
, saving money
is irrational when a person or his/her family are living in poverty and suffering from a malnutrition diet, however
, they can save extras
Change the noun form
extra
money
when everything is provided. Travelling and recreational activities like watching a movie and the big screen are other topics that the income should be spent on. People
need to be happy and enjoy living that directly affects their mental health, therefore
, paying for entertainment and adventure is necessary.
Secondly
, they need to be educated and updated in the fast-paced modern world. Literacy and attending a university must be valued enough that a person easily pays for them. Learning and developing knowledge, skills and a new language often result in more job opportunities or promotions that equal to more
salaries. Correct word choice
higher
Consequently
, investing in learning will be paid back by more income as well as
well-being. For instance
, learning French possibly helps a tourist guide to have more tours and more earnings, more international opportunities and even more friends.
In conclusion, personally, I believe that money
should be used rather than just saved and people
need to enjoy their life through personal progress and entertainment.Submitted by Sarah_nazari on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a good level of coherence and cohesion with a logical structure. Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well by presenting arguments for spending money rather than just saving it. Ensure your ideas are more comprehensive and provide deeper analysis to support your points effectively.