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Band 6.5

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep.

#people #difficulties
It is undoubtedly that, more and more
people
 focus on sleeping problems has attracted numerous controversies and drawn much attention from the public. From my point of view, I believe there are working and personal causes.
This
 essay will discuss the problems and illustrations.
First
 and foremost, most adults, particularly men need to earn money to support
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 family.
In other words
,
people
 have to work more and more to enough dollars to pay their house rentals, car mortgage, children's education fees, and so on. All the above would consume more hours on a day,
thus
 reducing the sleeping time at night.
Secondly
, nowadays more and more
people
 suffer from mental illnesses. As more you think more dreams at night, so bad quality relaxing at the end of a day. To solve the problems, I firmly recommend that, we should slow down our working peace and give more free time to build up our body structure, making our heart afflicting resistance more strong enough. Another positive method should be taken into account is that reading before you go to bed
instead
 of watching TV or seeing a movie at the cinema.
For example
, a recent article published by Scientific American revealed that 95% of investigated students get better sleeping quality at night compared to that time of watching mobile or TV and some video things online. In conclusion, never should we neglect what we have discussed above.
Thus
, I firmly hold the view that there are bad
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 if you do not sleep enough. In all, society and
people
 as a whole need to take action immediately to address the issues.
Submitted by cchcmr88 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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