some people believe that students should be made to have unpaid jobs in their free time.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #jobs #time

It is thought that during

this

modern era, recruiters would consider candidates with job

experience

more than fresh graduates without any previous

experience

. Some say that doing unpaid

work

in leisure time is important for

students

. I completely agree that having a job as a student is needed. In my opinion, it is wrong to deny their paycheck after completing

such

a heavy workload.

This

essay will elaborate more on the disagreement with

this

view.

Firstly

, in order to pay for their tuition, the majority of

students

work

during their leisure time.

For example

according to

an Indonesian poll, 20% of

students

work

part-time jobs to supplement their income and pay for their education. In the event that the business chooses not to compensate them, it will be equivalent to the corporation using them as free

labour

and forcing them not to pay their tuition.

Secondly

, the majority of

students

work

because they wish to acquire information and practical skills.

Therefore

, it appears appealing to these prospects when organizations offer unpaid internships in exchange for

experience

According to

a 2018 Ministry of Manpower report in Singapore, unpaid internships frequently entice candidates and use them as free

labour

Additionally

, it is claimed that

students

might learn more effectively by working on something valuable,

such

as projects or attending lectures on topics they are interested in. It follows that some recent high school graduates are drawn to unpaid employment offers that provide

experience

but

also

require free

labour

. In conclusion, I believe that working

while

still studying is important, but it is a must to be paid fairly as they have already given their time and energy to complete the task and workload given by the company. So the company is obligated to pay

students

for their hard

work

instead

of just using them as free

labour

Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on Sat May 11 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay clearly presents your viewpoint and you provide a strong argument with relevant examples. However, adding more diverse examples and details could further strengthen your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have shown good use of paragraphs, but enhancing transitions between your ideas could boost the essay's flow. Consider using a variety of linking words to show relationships between ideas more clearly.

Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, you might explore both sides of the argument to provide a more balanced response. This will show your ability to critically analyze and discuss different viewpoints.

Coherence and Cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

Task Achievement

Relevant use of specific examples to support your points, making your argument more convincing.

Task Achievement

Clear and comprehensive presentation of your own views, which fulfills the task requirement of presenting a clear opinion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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