IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctica #visit
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Nowadays, increasingly people are exploring areas which place lack facilities ,
such
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 as the Sahara desert or Antarctica.
while
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 there is a variety of advantages for
visiter
Correct your spelling
visitors
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 to some extent, I still believe that it is more drawback for tourists and these habitats. The main benefit of the trend is exploring beaten track places which no one or a few folks visit that they seem to satisfy themselves and have a wonderful experience trip they never feel from anywhere.
For example
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,
according to
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 the history of humans, when the western people moved to and came across the ocean they explored new lands or new continents and Australia had been found by explorers .
Therefore
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, tourists would be enjoying their vacations without crowded and contemplate breathtaking landscapes, and unique views that are only seen in
this
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 place. If folk flock to tourist attractions , they would take as long as in the queue to visit and that means they merely go to some sites with limited time.
On the other hand
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, the major drawback of travelling
inadequate
Change preposition
to inadequate
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 places is that they
put
Verb problem
are
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 more dangerous for themselves in terms of
extremely
Change the word
extreme
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 geographies,
customs
Correct word choice
and customs
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 which they can search on the internet or from others leading to
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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might get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 lost or
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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 their lives in dangerous circumstances.
For instance
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 , even though , there are many predicted disable or changes of weather in
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
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 with sandstorms that made a range of visiters
got
Wrong verb form
get
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serve
Correct your spelling
severe
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 injuries or
died
Wrong verb form
die
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.
Moreover
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, regarding the trend , individuals seem to demolish the wild environment for tourist purposes . More and more animals and pieces stand on the edge of extinction and
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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 natural habitats or stabilise the earth`s climate. In conclusion, people can visit anywhere in the world
however
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 they must protect and preserve their life , wild pieces and natural environments and nations should establish rules for visiter in special areas.
Submitted by thuy.hong.cyc on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Develop your main points with more depth and provide specific examples to support your arguments. Ensure that your examples are relevant and directly connect to your points.
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