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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that nuclear weapons benefit the world at large. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #weapons #benefit #world
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Many people around the world strongly believe
the
Change preposition
in the
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 benefits of nuclear
weapons
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.
In contrast
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 to their opinions, in my point of view, nuclear
weapons
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 are too expensive and too dangerous for people to use.
Therefore
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, I completely disagree that nuclear
Use synonyms
weapons
Change noun form
weapons'
weapon's
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 benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
First
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 and foremost, nuclear
weapons
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 are
serious
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a serious
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 threat to people’s
health
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 and to the country’s integrity. Regarding
to
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apply
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nuclear
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weapons
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weapons'
weapon's
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effects
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 on human
health
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, since it is a tremendous source of radiation,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 may cost numerous
health
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 devastations for humans. Take Hiroshima as an example in terms of
health
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. People are still suffering from its malignant
effects
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. Not only does it affect
health
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, but it
also
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 affects
buildings
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the buildings
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of
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in
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 the country too.
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This kind
Fix the agreement mistake
These kinds
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 of
weapons
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have
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has
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 an extreme power of destructiveness. It may cause long-term
harms
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harm
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 due to the fact that
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
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 power has
a
Correct article usage
the
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 potential of spreading all over the city. Another thing is nuclear
weapons
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 need a huge budget from the government. Not only for their building but
also
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 for fixing their enormous detrimental
effects
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 after using it. As mentioned before, it has unwanted
effects
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 for citizens and their towns which will need
health
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 founding and rebuilding money
afterward
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afterwards
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 undoubtfully. It is not necessary to
funding
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fund
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 these
weapons
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 having only a tiny amount of usefulness rather than spending money on some other beneficial and peaceful machines. All in all,
although
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 there are still beliefs in regard
nuclear
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to nuclear
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weapons
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 benefits, I totally disagree
their
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with their
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 ideas. As far as I’m concerned, the world would be a better and more peaceful place without them.
Submitted by haticecoza on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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