IELTS 12 - Test 6 - Task 2: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Currently, in some nations, it is observed that young
people
are significantly more in numbers compared to their elderly populations. In my opinion,
although
a youthful country possesses a higher risk of crime rate, the advantages associated with
this
age disparity far surpass any drawback. One of the clear cut disadvantages of a society where there are more youngsters than old
people
is that the crime rate tends to grow.
This
is because younger individuals are more likely to engage in irrational and reckless behaviour, putting themselves and the general public at risk for danger.
For example
, in Nigeria, where they are no strict rules to regulate alcohol consumption, most
first
-time drunk drivers are usually between the ages of 18 and 30, they can not control their impulse to drink more than usual at weekends.
Therefore
, countries with fewer regulations with a huge number of these age groups are more likely to see more petty crimes in their cities.
On the other hand
, countries have so much to gain than lose by having less geriatrics population and more youth.
Firstly
,
this
will strengthen the workforce of a nation, because fewer
people
will be retiring from work and taking a leave of absence from work due to health-related issues, which is common in the elderly group.
For instance
, China was able to overtake the United state economy-wise five years ago because of their growing youth population.
Furthermore
, younger
people
are quite innovative and creative with work, because they are usually competitive. They are well motivated because they do not have job security or a pension at
this
age, so
this
makes them put in more effort than
people
65 years and older. In conclusion,
although
challenges
such
as an increase in crime will surface in a setting where there are more younger
people
than older
people
,
however
, I strongly believe that the merits associated with
this
are more beneficial overall to the country
Submitted by oyeludevictor on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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