IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the opportunity shop is the shopping centre has cheap secondhand furniture. Write to the shop, owner, describing what you need and asking whether they have this items and what they cost.

#friend #opportunity #shop #centre #furniture #owner #items #cost
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Dear Sir /Madam , I hope you are doing well . I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request to you some information regarding the
furniture
Use synonyms
 services that you are providing in your shop . Actually , I just rented a new flat and I want to buy some items of
furniture
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Sofa
Correct article usage
a Sofa
show examples
 -set , a queen size bed
along with
Linking Words
 a dining table . I would like to confirm that
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you have availability of these
furniture
Use synonyms
 items that I mentioned above .
Moreover
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 want to know the prices of these individual items and how much
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 cost in total .
In addition
Linking Words
 to it, One of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
recommmened
Correct your spelling
recommended
recommend
me
Change preposition
to me
show examples
 about your shop that you
are providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 the services of less expensive used
furniture
Use synonyms
 . So , I want to get
idea
Add an article
an idea
the idea
show examples
 in terms of condition
as well as
Linking Words
 prices of
second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
show examples
furniture
Use synonyms
 that I need . I will await
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your response at your earliest convenience . Yours Sincerely, Harjeet
Submitted by hk356645 on

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writing tone
Ensure consistent formality through addressing and signing off in a business letter context. Using phrases like 'Dear Sir/Madam' is appropriate for formal letters, and closing the letter with 'Yours sincerely' is suitable if the recipient's name is known. However, if the recipient is unknown, 'Yours faithfully' would be more appropriate.
single idea paragraph
While the paragraphs are generally clear, try to keep one idea per paragraph. For instance, the paragraph about the request for furniture could be split: first, detail the furniture needed and then inquire about secondhand options.
task response
You've effectively covered all the necessary points mentioned in the task prompt. You clearly stated your needs for specific furniture items and asked for availability and pricing.
greeting and closing
The letter begins with a polite greeting and ends with a courteous closing, maintaining a respectful tone throughout.
logical structure
Sentences flow logically from one point to the next, and there is a clear progression of ideas from explaining your situation to specifying your request.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unfurnished flat
  • secondhand furniture
  • opportunity shop
  • availability
  • items
  • cost
  • budget
  • condition
  • warranty
  • return policy
  • sale
  • discount
  • contact details
What to do next:
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