some people say that all young people should have full-time education until they are 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Educating
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
evolved into a major topic of concern in
this
era. Few
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
claim that it is should be obligatory for the youth to
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
a full-time
education
until they are 18 years old.
This
essay will argue why educating full time is entirely necessary for young
people
under 18 years old.
Firstly
, youngsters who received a
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
education
have opportunities to
exapand
Correct your spelling
expand
their
knowldge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
for example
,
people
spend most of their time in class learning about different areas
such
as history, maths or literature.
As a result
, they would
aquire
Correct your spelling
require
acquire
a huge amount of
commom
Correct your spelling
common
knowledge, which not only helps them in archiving higher academic performances
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
possibly give them innumerable chances to solve complicated problems in daily life.
In addition
, a full-time
education
can act as a deterrent to young
people
from witnessing violent actions or negative habits on the internet.
In other words
, the deleterious content on the internet could adversely affect individuals who are under 18 years
also
because they are mentally vulnerable. Indeed, there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have been some recorded instances of unfortunate violent
vidoes
Correct your spelling
videos
which are being widely spread. Those clips contained violent content and
challenges
Wrong verb form
challenged
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the audiences to do
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what they see as they do not have a fully
congitive
Correct your spelling
cognitive
development. To sum up,
this
essay argues whether it is necessary for youngsters to receive
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
full-time
education
.In my opinion, as
such
,is imperative due to the advantages which it offers is a chance to broaden the youngs horizons and raising in their awareness.
Submitted by aashiyanakhanushiya26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: