Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Many
people
define having a life
such
as high income and profitable or beneficial jobs is
achieved Correct your spelling
as
life
. This
definition is obviously conflicts
Change the verb form
is obviously conflicting
to
Change preposition
with
this
capitalism
Replace the word
capitalist
society
, there is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
also
people
believe
having Correct pronoun usage
who believe
a sacrificial jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a sacrificial job
sacrificial jobs
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
true achievement. From each viewpoint, I believe they all have reason to assert Correct article usage
a
the
opinions.
Our Change the word
their
society
used to Add an article
the idolised
an idolised
idolised
Wrong verb form
idolise
Correct article usage
a community
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
who
is wealthy Correct pronoun usage
that
however
soon as our society
became a
true individual capitalism, Remove the article
apply
middle
group of Add an article
the middle
people
stop to fallow
them, Correct your spelling
follow
people
choose to pioneer for itself
. Correct pronoun usage
themselves
Therefore
, rich people
are seen as selfish and do commit to the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. While people
are saying harmful about rich people
, wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
people
create tones of money, also
hire thousand
of Correct your spelling
thousands
people
and the taxes taken by government
is used for the community. If they weren’t there normal Add an article
the government
people
will not allow to have
our daily Change the verb form
having
life
. Even being existing is helpful for the community.
On the other hand
,sacrificial jobs such
as doctors, Correct your spelling
firemen
fire men
and Correct your spelling
firemen
police
Correct your spelling
policeman
man
, commonly admired and respected Fix the agreement mistake
men
from
many Change preposition
by
people
, they
are saving many other Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change noun form
people’s
people’
Correct your spelling
people's
life
without caring themselves for numerous years of their short or long life
. For example
, in 19century
, Correct article usage
the 19century
the
infectious disease was completely uncontrollable and the sterilization system was not valid Correct article usage
apply
therefore
it leads to death
Correct article usage
the death
to
many Replace the word
too
patient
. Change to a plural noun
patients
Consequently
, many doctors start to invent a vaccine that can prevent earn any disease from each other, after many doctors involve and sacrifice they created Add an article
a vaccine
vaccine
that can save Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
burden
Add an article
the burden
of
lives.
To sum up, both ideas are true Change preposition
apply
for
Change preposition
in
its
own way, we are not able Correct pronoun usage
their
judge
ideas from our individual viewpoints. They both contribute Add the particle
to judge
their
own ways.Change preposition
in their
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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