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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by International fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional foods while other believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#countries #foods #food #people #choice
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It is often argued that traditional
food
 is beneficial to eat, whilst others disagree and think that
junk
food
 is a better option.
This
 essay discusses both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
 and why I believe that cultural
food
 is better in comparison to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 in terms of nutritional value. On the one hand, there are people who believe that
junk
food
 is a better choice because it saves
time
.
This
 is because these days people have
busier
Correct article usage
a busier
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, due to that they are not finding ample
time
 to cook. When it comes to fast
food
 it is widely available and
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 if someone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to eat
food
 at home it takes only minutes to prepare the
food
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
 the traditional
food
 which needs a lot of diligence and
time
 for
prepration
Correct your spelling
preparation
.
For instance
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the multinational companies in South Korea serve fast
food
 in their canteen to employees.
This
 saves the
time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 employees and it leads to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
 their productivity at work.
Therefore
,
junk
food
 is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 choice when it comes to
food
 due to its
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
 potential.
On the other hand
, others think that traditional
food
 is more healthy.
This
 is because cultural
food
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
 only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh ingredients and does not involve
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of preservatives and frozen products, which may be unhealthy for human consumption.
As a result
, it boosts the immunity of human beings and helps them to stay away from diseases. To illustrate, a recent study concluded that a primary cause of obesity in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American teenagers is linked with increased consumption of
food
 from the
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 chains
such
 as
kfc
Correct your spelling
KFC
 and burger king.
Thus
, in order to stay healthy and fit, it is preferred to consume traditional
food
 only. In conclusion, while
junk
food
 is a good option for the working professionals in terms of
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
. It is my firm belief that cultural
food
 is the best.
The
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
 is because traditional
food
 meets the standard dietary daily requirements, which is crucial to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritional value
  • culinary heritage
  • preserve traditions
  • global cuisine
  • obesity epidemic
  • dietary habits
  • convenience factor
  • food culture
  • sustainable practices
  • local produce
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