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Band 5.5

Some people think the technology makes life complex, so we should make life simpler without using the technology. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #life
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It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that due to the development of
technology
Use synonyms
, the public's
life
Use synonyms
 is increasingly becoming complicated.
Therefore
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, They believe that individuals should simplify their lives without using cutting-edge
technology
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.
However
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, regarding
this
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, I strongly disagree with
this
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 assertion since
technology
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 has facilitated to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
basic
Change preposition
of basic
show examples
 human needs properly.
To begin
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 with, the Internet which is the most significant invention in contemporary society has enabled children to study remotely. Not only can online classes contribute to
participation
Add an article
the participation
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 of disabled children, but they may
also
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 bring about flexible schedules, thereby leading to allowing
people
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working
Change the verb form
to work
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 full time during studying.
For example
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, in Canada, since most language schools have provided online classes, international students who couldn't come to Canada due to the pandemic have studied through the Internet. As the example clearly illustrates, if it had not been for the advanced
technology
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, students would not have studied abroad during certain difficult situations
such
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 as
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a pandemic
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pandemic
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pandemics
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, so their
life
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 became easier than before.
Secondly
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, in the modern era, the enhancement of public transportation has reduced traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
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 in cities.
Moreover
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, it has
also
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dicreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
 the emission of exhaust fumes
of
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from
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 private cars.
For instance
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, recent media in Korea reports that almost 10% of greenhouse gases which are
relesed
Correct your spelling
released
 by cars has declined after the subway trains
invented
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were invented
show examples
.
Therefore
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, it is reasonable to point out that the latest
transites
Correct your spelling
transitions
transits
transit
 result in reducing traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and environmental issues
such
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 as air pollution.
Hence
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, individuals' lives became convenient.
Finally
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, cutting edge
technology
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 in
medical
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the medical
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 industry has enabled to
maintain
Replace the word
maintenance
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the
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of the
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 population's health efficiently. As various equipment
such
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 as robots and devices have helped
people
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, they have simply extended their
life
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 spans. In
this
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 regard, patients do not die anymore owing to the cancers
that
Correct word choice
apply
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under
Add a missing verb
are under
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 3 grades which were incurable
illneses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
illness
 in the
paast
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past
.
As a result
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,
people
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 can sustain their
life
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healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
 and longer along with
technology
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. In conclusion, while some
people
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 are concerned about
technology
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 that made
a
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apply
show examples
life
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 more sophisticated, there is no doubt to point out that
technology
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 has even made
a
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apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 easier and
efficient
Correct quantifier usage
more efficient
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 and
therefore
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people
Use synonyms
 can simply
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
archive
 basic human needs.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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