IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Workers often retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working as long as they want. What is your opinion on this?

#workers #age #people
Nowadays most people being 60 or 65 years old have typically retired from their work.
Nevertheless
,some think that the range of working period may extend longer depending on their willingness.
This
 essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
this
 retirement including some suggestions. The public normally become unemployed after being 60 or 65 years old, which depends on the regulation of countries. Most individuals think that it is a range of age properly to take a break from work.
Firstly
,it brings a benefit for the older spending time and money taking care of themselves.
For instance
, they could go to the national park with friends to relax. They
also
 spend their money on what they want, which could purchase a new favourite thing
instead
 of having some stress from tasks
such
 as planting trees in house areas.
Secondly
, a new generation may be promoted to replace the ex-workers who have retired.
This
 could bring about the progression of career jobs and have a strong benefit to the upcoming worker generation to earn more salaries.
For example
, the officer could be promoted to be a new manager or senior officer. On the one hand,some think that the older who are 60 or 65 years old should have an alternative solution which could make a decision whether continue working after being a range of retirement age. Because maybe some groups do have not enough wealth for spending for the rest of their life, they may not leave a job to lose their money.
Additionally
, there is a lack of experienced people,who have worked over the decades. It is a better way for any organization to have those taking their responsibilities continuously. To conclude, it seems to me that there are many possible solutions. In my opinion,it is a simple way the working period of retirement could be extended by relying on their inspiration of them.
Nevertheless
, all the age extensions could be appropriately considered by individuals and organizations or companies.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: