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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. What problems do it creates? How could this situation be improved?

#shops #supermarkets #area #situation
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A very large number of mini-companies and local businesses are stopping their operation due to the impact of supermarkets and bigger franchises generating commercial monopolies.
This
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 essay will focus on the consequences of
this
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 phenomenon as well as some possible alternatives to enhance it.
This
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 problem has brought multiple consequences and promises to develop even more.
Firstly
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, the creation of a commercial monopoly where only a few have the power and can control the prices, alternatives and regularity of goods, example of
that is
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 that in countries
such
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 as Colombia all the local, family-owned shops are disappearing because of the hard competence of hypermarkets and now people already can see the lack of some products.
In addition
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, fewer opportunities for entrepreneurs who of course, do not have the same resources to get into the market on a big scale,
hence
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 those who planned with a small business must think twice before doing it. To improve the situation the only option is to support our local commerce, buying groceries from the local ones and maintaining them alive. Despite ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 something seems more expensive we need to recognize their effort and notice that we are not only paying for the element that we are acquiring at that exact moment, we are
also
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 promoting inhouse economy and our independence as customers. If tonight someone needs to buy some milk better go to the farmer or the small shop
instead
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 of going to the Woollies (Australian supermarket) could be an example. To conclude, all those small stores who are fighting to remain open are not only doing it for them but
also
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 for us whom one day may dream with our small commercial place or just with keeping buying what we want, so for that we need to support them having them as our priority and preferred suppliers.
Submitted by gabrielapineros on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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