Most artist earn lower salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays, the country has a limited budget and has much staff to fund, whether it is homeless unemployment education or the healthcare system.
Then
I totally disagree with
this
topic that why we have to spend our tax on artist work just for their lovely art and fun hobbies. Beginning with, my nation in the capital city
such
as Bangkok we still have poor drainage and transportation system. These issues are waiting to be fixed and the funding from the government will solve the problems. But on
this
topic said the government should spend money for their art,
then
they can remain their job and other people must continue their own boring work to fulfil these artists' dreams and try to gather salaries to pay their own tax.
Moreover
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
some occupations
such
as fireman, janitor, taxi-driver and food-delivery etc. these careers should be funding by the government in order to assist their better living. Because basic welfare is really vital for
everyone
.
For example
, if I have an illness and I go to the hospital the treatment needs to be free of charge.
Also
, transportation must be convenient,
everyone
must reaching to the education and medical care must be adequate for
everyone
. In conclusion, if artists receive a lower income than another career they should find a new position where they can obtain more salaries along with other people. And in my
notion
Add a comma
,notion
show examples
everyone
is equal no one or exactly job must have no privilege.
Submitted by phuchanate on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
  • employment
  • investment
  • government support
  • patronage
  • crowdfunding
  • allocation
  • criteria
  • artistic freedom
  • innovation
  • emerging artists
  • diverse forms
  • creative industry
  • financial struggles
  • drawbacks
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