IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon?

#people #accounts #phenomenon
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nowadays people are living longer than earlier. there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of improvements in various areas resulting in longer
life
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. In my opinion, I think improvements in technology play a significant role in
this
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. I feel
this
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 way for two reasons, which I will explore in
this
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 essay.
to begin
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 with, I contend that, technological improvements in the medical sector
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the primordial factor for a better
life
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. In
today
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's
scenario
Add a comma
,scenario
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 there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 so many
advancement
Change to a plural noun
advancements
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 in the hospitals. the availability of various
disease
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diseases
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 detecting machines
such
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 as CT scan machines, Ultrasound, treadmill tests and many more. these all made treatment quite easy than
earlier
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in earlier
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 times. my own experience is a compelling exam of
this
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. I remember my grandfather had some gastrointestinal problems. during their
time
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 testing was not much advance. he lives in the countryside at that
time
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. to go advanced hospital in the city was
also
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 a concern. so, he could not able to get the treatment
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 he could get in
today
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's times.
secondly
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, is the
use
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 of modern technologies
such
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 as
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use
Add an article
the use
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 of computers in offices. in
today
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's
times
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,times
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 it seems impossible to live without the
use
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 of smartphones and various electrical appliances. these all
saves
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save
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time
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 and increase our relaxing
time
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.
for instance
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, nowadays I used to work for 37 hours
in
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apply
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a week. in my grandpa's
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time
Add a comma
,time
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 people used to work for more than forty-five hours a week.
this
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 all is because of technology.
today
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, I got extra
time
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than
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apply
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compared to my grandpa. which I
use
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 in spending with my family and friends. on weekends I
also
Linking Words
 got
time
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 for doing the painting or reading books or anything which I like. my grandparents not used to have
such
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 free
time
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 for them. in a nutshell, I strongly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 improvement in the medical sector and the
use
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 of technology has tremendously changed our
life
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. in ,
fact
Add an article
the fact
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 these made our
life
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 long and easy.
Submitted by SV on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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