Nowadays many children have trouble paying attention in class or concentrating on their school work. Why is this happening? How can this problem be solved?

#children #trouble #attention #class #school #work

An increasing number of

children

encounter a problem with

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of focus during their classes and school assignments.

This

essay discusses the reason behind

this

trend and suggests measures by which

this

issue can be tackled. A primary cause of distraction in students' is due to an increase in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

screen time.

This

is because due to the change in the educational system, pupils are supposed to complete their academic assignments and do learning through digital technology.

Moreover

, nowadays internet availability is throughout

Correct article usage

the

show examples

day.

As a result

children

use smartphones and computers most of the time

instead

of indulging in

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

outdoor activities.

For instance

, one of the leading

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

distarction

Correct your spelling

distraction

is linked with smartphones due to their harmful

radiations

Fix the agreement mistake

radiation

show examples

Therefore

, it leads to

Change the article

show examples

increase in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

anxiety and other mental disorders which

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

the overall concentration of

children

. A possible solution to

this

problem would be a combined effort of parents and teachers. To elaborate, parents can motivate their

children

to get involved in physical activities and outdoor games. Alongside, teachers should modify their teaching methods by using methods

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

minimal usage of digital technology.

Consequently

this

will refrain pupils from

gadets

Correct your spelling

gadgets

and will help to alleviate the issue of distraction. To illustrate, a recent study concluded that students who play sports attain better grades due to high focus in comparison to those who

prefers

Change the verb form

prefer

show examples

to play video games indoors. In conclusion, rising numbers of

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

are lacking their concentration in academics due to

Change the article

show examples

increased usage of gadgets. By a synergistic effort of parents and

mentors

Add a comma

,mentors

show examples

this

issue can be mitigated.

Submitted by drvishal13 on Thu Apr 14 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries students are engaged in some sort of paid work . Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. What is your opinion?