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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think it is important to know National news while others have opinion that International news are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #news
A group of individuals present the view that national
news
 is crucial, whereas
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe that global
news
 is more significant. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that knowing the international events are more prominent because being limited to local
news
 leads us to be unaware of numerous challenging
newscast
Fix the agreement mistake
newscasts
show examples
 from other parts of the world,
as a result
, we are not able to update our information on
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 world situation.
For example
, if a new drug was invented in a special country, it would be published
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the world,
therefore
, patients can be aware of
this
 method and they feel hope to be cured. another point to consider is the fact that these global reports raise our awareness about the countries that faced a phenomenon like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
,
hurricane
Fix the agreement mistake
hurricanes
show examples
,
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
,
war
Fix the agreement mistake
wars
show examples
 and so on.
For instance
, when a country
encounter
Change the verb form
encounters
show examples
 several flood problems, in turn, other countries are known
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 following international
news
 and they cater for the circumstance.
On the other hand
, another group of people claim that following global
news
 is not necessary, they insist if we wanted to improve
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 situation, we can only see the national
annoncement
Correct your spelling
announcement
.
however
, I do not find
this
 argument convincing as with regard to globalization if people be aware of other
peers
Change noun form
peers'
peer's
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, they can solve problems more easily. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, in my view, knowing the
news
 about all countries
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more effective than seeing only local events. it can update
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 information about the innovation,
moreover
, it helps humans to do more voluntary philanthropy works.
Submitted by boreirikimia on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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