The amount of time spend on sports and exercise should be increased in order to tackle the problem of overweight What other solutions can you suggest ?

A discussion about the harms of the obesity parameter has always been the permeative and immanent among intellectuals

moreover

some individuals believe that we must add more

sports

schedule in our life in order to fight against the weight increase.

Furthermore

,there are other solutions we can put into our consideration . I am in complete accord with the given ideology and the reason for my opinion will be elucidated in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Firstly

, I think JUnk

food

and fizzy drinks are the big reason for gaining extra weight not only their affordable price but

also

the magic taste , for ,example burgers,pizza and soft drinks. Parent and individuals due to their work style sometimes encourage their children to have it ,

instead

of preparing healthy

food

in their home.,

nevertheless

adding more taxes will reduce the consumption of these heavy oily

food

Secondly

, modern technology and gadgets kill the people's precious time

for example

computer games and social media , I believe the families must take cutting edge for that by banning the computer from the children

in addition

to the schools , universities

also

must allocate compulsory time for

sports

thirty or forty minutes daily in their curriculum

also

to enhance the

sports

competitions with precious gifts.

Hence

conclusively we may say that extra weight is a dilemma and

sports

is not the only factor to fight against it .fast

food

taxes must increase,computer games must ban,broadcasting healthy

food

benefits in media.

In addition

, allocating specific times for

sports

in schools will help us to encounter that.

Submitted by tamorah2020 on Fri Apr 15 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The amount of time spend on sports and exercise should be increased in order to tackle the problem of overweight What other solutions can you suggest ?

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Consumers are facing increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies.

Some people say the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be used better elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?