At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Aging
society around the world is a big issue. The Change the spelling
Ageing
number
of older people
increase
over the Change the verb form
increases
young
Correct quantifier usage
number of young
adults
. Some country
still Fix the agreement mistake
countries
control
the Change the verb form
controls
number
of young
Add an article
a young
adult
by Fix the agreement mistake
adults
Correct your spelling
newborn
new born
birth Correct your spelling
newborn
incresing
. The economic issue is a major Correct your spelling
increasing
involve
to Change the verb form
involves
number
of young and older Change the article
a number
the number
people
. I do agree that to have
Change the verb form
having
large
Change the article
a large
the large
number
of young adults
compare
to older Change the form of the verb
compared
people
have more benefits outweigh
its drawbacks.
To Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
exempify
the Correct your spelling
exemplify
first
advantages of having more number
of young adults
over the elderly. Young adults
in a vast group in the country
who
still have abilities to work. After their work, their tax Correct pronoun usage
apply
are
collected. The Change the verb form
is
country
have
an income from Change the verb form
has
taxes
. In
the other hand, most Change preposition
On
of
older Change preposition
apply
people
have sedentary life or retirement life which they are not working. The nation do
not Change the verb form
does
recieve
any Correct your spelling
receive
taxes
from them. Moreover
, they have to use the taxes
to taking
care of the elderly in Wrong verb form
take
last
part of Correct article usage
the last
thier
life. Correct your spelling
their
the
Second
Correct article usage
The second
advantages
is young Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
adults
have strength
and creativity to create Correct article usage
the strength
the
campaign to improve the Correct article usage
a
country
. For example
, the electricity
car which is a high technology car version which Replace the word
electric
have
been released and Change the verb form
has
improve
the economy of the Wrong verb form
improved
country
. Young people
is
Change the verb form
are
more
brisker than the older Change the word
apply
people
in technology and new knowledge finding.
In conclusion, The country
that have
more young Change the verb form
has
adults
number
than elder
Correct article usage
the elder
have
more advantages than drawbacks. In many Correct subject-verb agreement
has
aspect
including economic issues, Change to a plural noun
aspects
country
income or taxes
, and also
the activities or campaign
that pull the Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
country
forward.Submitted by sarawanee.ph on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite