1 For many young people today, shopping is their favorite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?

#people #time #activity #activities

In present days, many youngsters encourage to go shopping in their leisure

time

This

is why

people

believe a day is well spent on shopping, as they can buy lots of stuff and

time

will go by so quickly. In the following paragraph, I will discuss what could be the reason behind it, and

also

give my opinion on it. It is always exciting for everyone to go on shopping and most adults visit malls in their free

time

Furthermore

, most adults are working on weekdays, and on weekends they like to relax and buy some basic stuff for themselves.

Also

, young

people

are mostly influenced by the new fashion.

In addition

, social media plays a vital role to display a new fashion in the market. It is always easy for young offspring to know about marketing through social networking.

On the other hand

people

can involve in different types of activity in their free

time

For instance

, teenagers can participate in different sports like football, volleyball, cricket, and other activities according to their interests which could be helpful to explore their abilities.

Similarly

people

can enjoy cooking different food and eating with the family member,

also

can gardening which can not only maintain the house but

also

give good vibes.

Furthermore

, schoolers can go on track, swim, meditation which helps us to reduce stress and make them calm and relax. Parents can give some options to their offspring so that they can find something to do during their casual

time

rather than going on shopping and buying unnecessary products and wasting

time

and money. In conclusion, I do agree with finding something productive activity to get involved

Change preposition

in.

show examples

It is not a bad idea to buy something

that is

necessary for our daily living,

however

, wasting valuable

time

and money on those products which rarely come in use.

Submitted by januka.dhg2 on Sat Apr 16 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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1 For many young people today, shopping is their favorite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and practice them with basic assistance, such as food and housing.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children plays computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the effects?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think it will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

In today’s very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed.] Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications?