IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this?

#supermarkets #food #country #imports
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n
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
day
Change to a plural noun
days
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 and age,
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 are a big
chain
Fix the agreement mistake
chains
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 able to sell a large variety of
food
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 under one roof giving a lot of choices to consumers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I completely agree that
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 should sell
food
Use synonyms
 produced within their own
country
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, because it will increase
food
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 production by local
farmers
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 making the
country
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self sufficient
Add a hyphen
self-sufficient
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 and
supermarkets
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 have the financial might, to reach out to
farmers
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 even in the remotest areas to buy
food
Use synonyms
products
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, any
country
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 should make itself
self reliant
Add a hyphen
self-reliant
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 in
food
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prodcution
Correct your spelling
production
, because
food
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 is something which is a basic need for any population and it cannot rely on foreign imports. In my personal experience, I can give
example
Add an article
an example
the example
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 of my
country
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, India, where the government has very good policies
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
farming
Add an article
the farming
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 sector, aiming at making India's
food
Use synonyms
 production on par with the demand.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
supermarkets
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 have money and resources to source various
food
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products
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 from different
farmers
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.
This
Linking Words
 allows them to buy a variety of
food
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 items and the
famrers
Correct your spelling
farmers
 can get a good bargain on their production.
For example
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my knowledge, a company called Reliance took advantage of government policies to start buying
food
Use synonyms
 directly from
farmers
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 improved the transaction cycle in
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
show examples
 sector, greatly increasing the revenue generation.
In addition
Linking Words
, it increased the annual income of
farmers
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 and offered good quality and affordable
food
Use synonyms
products
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 to consumers. To sum it up, I strongly agree that
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 should only sell
food
Use synonyms
 produced in their own
country
Use synonyms
, as not only it benefits the
famers
Correct your spelling
farmers
, but
also
Linking Words
 the consumers. Any foreign imports can be routed
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
 different regional consumer markets to keep the price more competitive.
Submitted by deepika Tomar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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