IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children under 18 years old should receive full-time education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #years #education
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Some would argue that
students
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 who are below 18 years of age should get
full
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full-time
show examples
time
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 teaching. I completely disagree with the given statement because apart from
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
, they
also
Linking Words
 need to
enroll
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enrol
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 in extracurricular activities as well as practical
knowledge
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also
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 equally
play
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plays
show examples
 a
curicial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 role. On the one hand, learning
theoritical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
knowledge
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 by staying in a school
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 day prevents
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 from
learing
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learning
leading
 other activities like sports, art, music etc. Each of the
students
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have
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has
show examples
 their unique abilities as some may be good in academics whilst
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 may be good in art.
Compelling
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The compelling
A compelling
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student
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students
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 just in
theoritical
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theoretical
knowlegde
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knowledge
 could shed the hidden extra skills of the pupils. To cite an example,
majority
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the majority
show examples
 of
students
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 in developing countries realized their true inborn extra skill after they graduate from high school which they realize
of
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apply
show examples
being late and worry to waste of other more years in mastering that because of
consistent
Correct article usage
the consistent
show examples
theoritical
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theoretical
full
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full-time
show examples
time
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 education system in
thier
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their
 curriculum.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, practical
knowledge
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 should
instill
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instil
show examples
 in them since their childhood along with book
knowledge
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 because only
then
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 they will be able to
comphrend
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comprehend
 their education effectively. Studying full
time
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 with just books
wont
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won't
show examples
 help in developing social skills. In order to gain it,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 have to go to the community and
execuite
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execute
 their theory. For an instance, in
social
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the social
a social
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study
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,study
show examples
 the student
learn
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learns
show examples
 about
importance
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the importance
show examples
 of afforestation but when they actually are assigned to do the afforestation program
then
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 their
knowledge
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 becomes crystal clear with the process of doing it, dealing with the people, and giving
knowledge
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 about
it's
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its
show examples
 importance and
preservances
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preserves
. In conclusion,
full
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full-time
show examples
time
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 education for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
students
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 will make them bookworms.
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Instead
Add a comma
,Instead
show examples
 they should be allowed to participate in extra-curricular activities and practical
knowledge
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 so that they can
Replace the word
sharpen
show examples
sharp
Correct your spelling
share
show examples
 their skills.
Submitted by susmitabhusal71 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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