Some Say music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

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Primary schools intend to impart some very important life skills. While academics are important, the focus really should be on learning life skills like understanding the need for rules, navigating through the social structures, feeling the power of teamwork and the value of friendship.

This

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essay would focus on highlighting the perils of focusing solely on academics while completely agreeing with the inclusion of performing

arts

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during the formative stages of a child's mental development.

Firstly

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, mental health is one of the most troubling issues that most countries are faced with, in modern times.

For example

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, India has seen a sharp and consistent increase in student suicides. In the United States, there has been a number of school shootings that have raised significant uproar from the parent communities.

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only shows how an unnecessary focus on pure academic success has significantly impacted children's self-worth pushing them into depression.

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, providing education on

arts

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like music and drama not just provides visibility of possible successful career options to students, but

also

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increases the confidence to choose a career in performing

arts

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. While a few might never get into professional

arts

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, they would still have the power of art to soothe their mind even when they enter the rat race that most professional careers

such

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as Engineering, and Investment Management have only to offer. In conclusion, I would like to extend support and push to increase emphasis on art education at an early age and oppose blind priority being given to Mathematics and Sciences.

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will have the dual benefit of not only improving mental health but

also

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helping a born artist not to get stuck in a boring desk job and waste the gift he/she was endowed with.

Submitted by nkamatam on Sat Apr 16 2022

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Your opinion

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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Some Say music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs and countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays university education is very expensive. Some people say that universities should reduce their fees, especially for the less fortunate stuvery spedents or those coming from rural areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The flowchart illustrates the production of coloured plastic paper clips in a small factory