Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it would cause problems for younger. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #age

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In present time more and more retired

people

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become to work after 60

ages

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since some certain

people

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tend to continue working as their lifestyle had been used to it.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

companies

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need these professionals since they are irreplaceable because other younger workers don't possess their certain professional traits

ans

Correct your spelling

and

skills. These can be

reason

Add an article

the reason

show examples

is why

people

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older than 60

ages

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are still at their workplace working.

However

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, there is a common statement that

this

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creates issues for youngsters.I totally agree with

this

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statement since youngsters can not find jobs because of

this

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and

also

Linking Words

the existing old working system in organisations can not be renewed due to or acceptance of fresh young ideas. To commence with ,

currently

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,currently

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vacant positions are filled by retired individuals

instead

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of new fresh professionals. As

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show examples

example, one of our company's

contractor

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contractors

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still has been occupied by old

people

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ages

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of 60 and over because the company got to used to these experienced workers and considers that they are irreplaceable.

This

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causes

for

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apply

show examples

young ones searching for jobs not to be able

finding

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to find

show examples

a job.

Moreover

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, the organization has been still promoting and awarding the elders

instead

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of supporting

ans

Correct your spelling

and

motivating young employees.

This

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demotivate

Change the verb form

demotivates

show examples

them and does not inspire

going

Correct pronoun usage

them going

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forward

for

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apply

show examples

advancements.

For instance

Linking Words

Change the pronoun

show examples

personally was twice rejected by our management to be awarded because they decided to recognise persons who have long-term experience. So, unemployment and demotivation for professional improvement of young specialists are consequences of retired employees still to be working.

Secondly

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, the system on

companies

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has not been changed due to new ideas are not acceptable because of already installed working

chart

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charts

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by older workers.

This

Linking Words

is why employers are not eager to change already processed working systems since

this

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is secure and known well.

For instance

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, uncertainty and possible risks could prevent

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

accepting

Replace the word

acceptance

show examples

new

Change preposition

of new

show examples

procedure

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procedures

show examples

and workflow proposed by new young experts . To conclude , it is typical to see that

people

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

ages

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sixty and over are still being employed by

companies

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However

Linking Words

, there are concerns that

this

Linking Words

causes some problems for younger ones. I agree to

high

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the high

a high

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extent that

this

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raises unemployment, not willingness for professional advancement and unchanged old working concepts at

companies

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. It is highly recommended for

olders

Correct your spelling

holders

older

to release their positions and provide opportunities for younger to find a job so that they can put their

inputs

Fix the agreement mistake

input

show examples

for organisations' prosperity and improvement.

Submitted by zhadym on Sat Apr 16 2022

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

410 words

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Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it would cause problems for younger. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

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Having conversation with people in your homeland with a foreign language can create social and functional issues. The following essay is going to discuss why it is problematic to have a foreign dialect and say why this happening can cause serious problems.

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?