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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what some extent do you agree or disagree?

#friendships #place #people #face
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The debate over whether
friendships
Use synonyms
 that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. In my point of view, online
friendships
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 are as worthwhile as face-to-face
friendships
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.
Firstly
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, online
friendships
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 can be just as genuine and profound as in-person ones. People often share deep thoughts and emotions online, forming strong bonds based on mutual interests and experiences.
For example
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, many individuals find supportive communities online where they can express themselves more freely than in their offline lives.
This
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 can lead to meaningful connections that might not have been possible in face-to-face settings.
Secondly
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, the convenience and accessibility of online interactions can enhance the quality of
friendships
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. Online communication tools allow people to stay connected despite physical distance or busy schedules.
For instance
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, friends who move to different cities or countries can maintain their relationships through video calls, messaging apps, and social media platforms.
This
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 continuous interaction helps in sustaining and nurturing
friendships
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, making them resilient and enduring.
However
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, it is
also
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 essential to acknowledge that online interactions lack certain elements of face-to-face communication,
such
Linking Words
 as physical presence and non-verbal cues. These elements can contribute to a deeper sense of connection and understanding in some cases.
For example
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, sharing a hug or seeing a friend’s facial expressions in person can enhance emotional bonding.
Nonetheless
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, online
friendships
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 can still be meaningful if both parties are committed to maintaining open and honest communication.
Overall
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, the meaningfulness of a friendship is determined by the quality of the connection and the effort invested by the individuals involved, rather than the medium through which they interact.
Thus
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, online
friendships
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 can be just as significant and fulfilling as those formed face-to-face.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
The introduction could be more clear. Clarifying the thesis statement will strengthen your argument. Consider an opening sentence that directly states your position. For example: 'I believe online friendships are as meaningful as face-to-face ones for several reasons.'
coherence cohesion
Try to balance your paragraphs better. While both reasons for the value of online friendships are strong, diversifying the structure of your points can contribute to better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the conclusion briefly reiterates the main points of the essay to reinforce your argument. The current conclusion is effective but could briefly restate the reasons why online friendships are meaningful.
task achievement
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas, well-supported by relevant examples, making the arguments convincing. Good job!
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure throughout with smooth transitions, allowing for easy progression of ideas. This enhances readability.
coherence cohesion
There are distinct, focused paragraphs that effectively separate different aspects of the topic, which contributes to a clear and logical flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-verbal communication cues
  • depth of understanding
  • spontaneous
  • genuine moments
  • shared interests
  • sense of physical presence
  • evolve
  • constant connectivity
  • nurture friendships
  • busy schedules
What to do next:
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