IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
Possessions over
property
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 what
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
 humans strive for in their
life
, especially housing.
Consequently
, it is unavoidable that a certain part of the population prefers having ownership of a
house
 rather than a rented one.
Such
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
 of thinking is becoming widely more popular with controversies regarding whether it is a beneficial trend for society or not. Overall, I find that it accumulates a positive impact
among
Change preposition
on
show examples
 people
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the long term.
To begin
, from a
life
 perspective, legal ownership over your place of accommodation allows the sensation of freedom. Specifically, the owner will possess the ability to perform any act of decoration or customization they please within their
property
 to express their individuality.
For example
, they will not be bound to have
minimalistic
Add an article
a minimalistic
the minimalistic
show examples
 display of space similar to occupying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a dormitory.
In addition
, you can avoid the compulsory of complying
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the strict curfews of the homeowners or landlords to suit your
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 or job more efficiently. Time will not be your limitation when having a job that ends its shift late at night when you own your home. From a financial perspective, having possession of a
house
 provides
a considerable monetary values
Correct the article-noun agreement
a considerable monetary value
considerable monetary values
show examples
.
For instance
, the rent
money
 required from occupying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a rented
house
 can be relieved once you own your place. Your monthly income will certainly improve once you are free from having to exhale a large sum of
money
 expense for rent.
Furthermore
, if your
property
 is in line with the future road or park constructions from the government, you will be subjected to being supported when moving.
Thus
, you will have
compensations
Fix the agreement mistake
compensation
show examples
 for the land you lose while inhabiting a rented
house
 means you simply no longer reside there. A noticeable portion of the population argues that fully owning a
property
such
 as a
house
 is redundant as it lacks real
estate
 investment, which you are able to find in renting a real
estate
house
. While there are some truths to those claims, the overall values outweigh the minor profits that renting offers.
In particular
,
although
 you can earn a large sum of
money
 from putting on sale or
return
Wrong verb form
returning
show examples
 your real
estate
property
, it is not profoundly immaculate as the policies differ based on the real
estate
 contracts.
Additionally
, depending on the country, real
estate
 is still a rather recent concept
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is obscurely underused and farfetched financial wise compared to normal means of renting.
Therefore
, it is unwise to invest
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
real
Correct article usage
a real
show examples
estate
 home as you will have to invest a lot of
money
first hand
Correct your spelling
first-hand
show examples
 as opposed to simply owning an economical
house
.
Consequently
, exhibiting established ownership over your
house
 should enhance constructively
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society. Provided that it would bring about crucial contributions to the inhabitants
such
 as freedom in
life
 choices while
also
accumulate
Wrong verb form
accumulating
show examples
 financial advantages.
Therefore
, by continuing
this
 train of thought, we will construct a better civilization for all people.
Submitted by trankhanhnhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: