In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Nowadays, many
people
are willing to make a big
loan
to
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
a
home
rather than
renting
Replace the word
rent
show examples
one
.
This
inevitably leads
one
to speculate whether
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
should be bought, especially when their wages
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
to remain low. I would say that
this
action contains many risks.
Firstly
, owning a
home
will make you involved in debt. It is crucial to have at least a big stable finance if you want to purchase it.
However
, the price for buying a piece of land has been growing more and more day by day.
As a result
, those who could not afford to buy it at once accept borrowing a huge amount of money from unofficial sources without hesitation, which could cause bankruptcy.
For example
, if you manage to buy a house without verifying your budget, you have to pay for an
installment
Change the spelling
instalment
show examples
loan
every month due to your low salary. Unless you pay it in time, the interest will
be risen
Change to the active voice
rise
have risen
show examples
,
thus
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to the verge of default.
Secondly
, getting a house might have a bad impact on
people
’s mentalities, especially the young. According to the social standard in some countries, owning a
home
is a way to prove that you are
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
a higher status than the others. It is said that if you do not have a
home
before reaching 30,
then
you are considered to be a failure.
This
is the reason why many young
people
, as well as the
old
Add the comma(s)
,old
show examples
have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
put so much effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
working to buy it, which could make them stressed from being exhausted. Some
people
might claim that owning a
home
would save your budget rather than renting
one
;
however
,
this
argument is dubious. Buying a
home
requires a lot of money, and most
people
could not afford to purchase them at once. Because of that, they choose to make a big
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
from banks or even from unofficial sources, which might lead to many risks.
For example
, if your salary is not enough to pay the bank's interest, you will be stuck in
loan
default. All in all, the
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
suggest that renting a
home
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
risks than owning
one
. Due to the shortage of income and social prejudices of successful
people
, ones could be easily put into default if they are eager to satisfy their needs without careful calculation.
Instead
, they should learn how to balance and calculate
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
budget before deciding whether purchase a permanent
one
or rent it.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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