Some people think that spending a lot on holding weddings, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

In the present society, some of them

are believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that paying out more money on behalf of wedding functions,

birthday

Correct word choice

and birthday

show examples

parties are unnecessary money-wasting activities. But some of them are believing that these are necessary social activities. I completely agree with the first statement and I am going to elaborate on both perspectives in forthcoming paragraphs. Modern society used to celebrate their life events very unnaturally. As an example, some of them spend a lot of money on decorations for a day and pre-shoot photography, going to be bright as well useless programmes which are not suitable for their backgrounds.

For instance

Linking Words

, people apply loans for to invest money in them and they have to spend a whole beautiful lifetime to settle the debts. Because they think to highlight other than their relatives or well-known persons . Like a competition.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, alcohol consumption is popular among the younger generation on their occasions and they quarrel with others harm to properties and destroy happiness. Those misused works break up social awareness.

Apart from

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this

Linking Words

, some other people believe that life event ceremonies get-

together with

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each other of the family members, relatives and friends.

Furthermore

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, anniversaries

such

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as parent's golden wedding anniversary bring their children back, who live far away from home. So

such

Linking Words

memorial events are valuable to their lives.

Additionally

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, human beings are sociable creatures and usual community activities are present.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

some kind of celebrations are fresh- up the social bond. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

parties

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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necessary cultural community events

Change preposition

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the past, in the present era they are unnecessary,

as a result

Linking Words

of our savings destroy and misused behaviour broken hearts of

best

Correct article usage

the best

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people.

amalitharangani0Most of villagers are changing their accommodations from villages to cities all around the world. As a result of this countryside residents are lower than town areas.I think this is a negative development and in this essay, I will elaborate my perspectives furthermore. According to this situation, my take on this is, different of the facilities between the town and the village. As an example, there are lots of shopping centres in the city such as house- hold items, clothes, stationeries, vehicles and so on. Conversely, developed educational centres, schools, hospitals with enough facilities are also at the urban areas. Nevertheless, there are lots of companies and unlimited job opportunities in the city area. Also, mostly there are continuous electricity, gas,water and well planned and punctual transport system as well. So people prefer to live in comfortably and moving to cities as they possible. Additionally, villagers and town people's have same basic need. Such as food, accommodation, education, good health and freedom as well. In some countries there is unavailable electricity in the countryside. Also, there is poor transport system, teachers and facilities at village schools. Moreover, sometimes not enough medications and human resources. So countryside people preferred to move to town. Finally, countryside population decreased and urbanisation in cities. In a nutshell, if there is as usual same facilities all over the city and rural areas,as there is lots of freedom in the countryside . My point of view is around the world this point is most prominent in developing countries.

May 11, 2024

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Task Achievement

Aim to develop a clearer introduction. While your position is stated, it could benefit from a more concise thesis statement that previews the reasons for your stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and complexity. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more engaging.

Task Achievement

Work on paraphrasing the essay question in the introduction to avoid repetition and demonstrate your linguistic range.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words to smoothly transition ideas between paragraphs and sentences for better cohesion.

General

Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and pay attention to preposition usage, which can affect the clarity of your message.

Task Achievement

You provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Task Achievement

You included relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financially burdensome
Unnecessary extravagance
Significant life events
Cultural traditions
Strengthen relationships
Community bonds
Memorable experiences
Investment in happiness
Lavish parties
Moderation
Excessive spending
Long-term investment
Honoring milestones

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Some people think that spending a lot on holding weddings, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

Your opinion

You recently bought a toy from a company online. When the toy was delivered, you found some problems with it. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter: -Describe the toy -Explain the problems with it -Tell the manager what you would like her/him to do

write a thankful letter

It is said that the amount of violence on the TV programs has negative effect on our social development and therefore should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You have lost an item of value on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter: •describe the item •explain where and when you left it •say what action you would like the company to take You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.