IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In developing countries growing population is a significant problem should government provide new homes in cities or countries?

#countries #population #government #homes #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the growing population is a serious problem in developing countries. The needs of the community,
such
Linking Words
 as accommodation are one of the biggest problems that the
government
Use synonyms
 need to duel with. Some crowd think that providing new homes in the cities or countries is essential to tackle the problem, while others say that there is another social issue
such
Linking Words
 as education,
that is
Linking Words
 far more urgent for the
government
Use synonyms
 to cope with in the countries. In my opinion, I agree that the
government
Use synonyms
 should ensure the new generation has their own apartment. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will give out more examples of both views. Getting a home can fulfil human's basic needs.
For example
Linking Words
, folk can take a rest in their own home after work. When they get tired, they will have a stronger will to search for a safe place to recharge. Providing a safe place like a building to humans can fulfil their basic needs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since taking a rest in a shelter can help them to relax. If the community couldn't be satisfied with their basic needs, there will feel disappointed with the
government
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, someone says that there is another serious issue needed to be fixed by the
government
Use synonyms
, under the pressure of the growing population.
For instance
Linking Words
, providing proper schooling to children is crucial to improving one's social status and ability to buy a property. When the
government
Use synonyms
 can provide quality learning to society, it can help citizens to buy their own houses easier.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the better education is given to people, the greater chance for the governor to solve the problem of the growing population. In conclusion, due to the recent circumstance in the box trading market, the cost of buying a living house is extremely high that even a well-educated person couldn't afford it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think the
government
Use synonyms
 should take their responsibility to provide more low-rent houses for people to live in rather than only promoting a greater education system.
Submitted by cheung19940213 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • growing population
  • significant problem
  • developing countries
  • new homes
  • cities
  • countries
  • rural areas
  • evenly
  • infrastructure
  • housing facilities
  • private sector
  • affordable housing projects
  • strict population control measures
  • sustainable
  • eco-friendly housing solutions
  • collaborate
  • international organizations
  • housing needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: