IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have just bought a video game console which does not work well. write a letter to the ventor. say what is wrong with this piece of electronics. say what you have done to address this issue. find out if you could have it replaced.

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Dear Sir, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction
about
Change preposition
with
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 the game console I have recently purchased. The first thing I would like to draw your attention to is that
this
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 device does not contain any games downloaded, contrary to what the company said in its advertisement. More importantly, the quality of the game projector failed to meet my expectations. It keeps blinking and makes a disturbing noise when it is turned on. To make matters worse, the sound system is not working properly.
Although
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 I carefully followed the instructions mentioned in the brochure, it failed to work properly.
Also
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, I repeatedly called
the
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apply
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customer services to complain about my situation, but they treated me with indifference and their services failed to resolve
this
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 issue. I would appreciate it if you could replace the faulty console with a new one. I hope
this
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 matter will be dealt with as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Sara

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task achievement
Include specific details about when and where the console was purchased to make the complaint more complete.
task achievement
Consider adding a brief suggestion about how you prefer to be contacted for the resolution.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a very clear structure with a logical flow from the problem description to the request for replacement.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and well-mannered.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making the letter easy to follow.
task achievement
The writing tone is polite and professional, fitting for a formal complaint letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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